Category Archives: Next Meeting

Next Meeting, 7th July 2020 – Online!

It is at times of stress that people need social contact more than ever, and board games are a great medium for that.  Despite the limitations of “remote gaming”, the overwhelming impression is that it is important to stay in touch, so we are persisting with online meetings.  Therefore, our next meeting will be on Tuesday 7th July 2020; we will gather from around 7.30pm, and start playing at 8pm.

This week, the “Feature Game” will be Second Chance.  This is a very simple “Roll and Write” game, similar to Noch Mal! which worked so well a few weeks back, that we played it twice.  Although Roll and Write games have a tendency to feel like multiplayer solitaire, they are very successful when played remotely and can usually play a lot of people (often more than originally designed for).

Second Chance
– Image by boardGOATS

And talking of second chances…

Jeff and Joe we were sitting exams.  On the eve of their final paper, they drove for an hour to a bar, to celebrate.  Unfortunately, they had a couple too many and ended up spending the night in the car.

By the time they reached the examination room the next morning, the exam was over and invigilator had collected all the papers.  Jeff and Joe explained to their supervisor how they’d had a puncture in the middle of the night and had to wait for daylight to get someone to change the tyre for them. They begged and pleaded with the lecturer for a second chance to take the exam.  Much to the lads’ surprise and delight, their examiner was sympathetic towards them and told them to come back to take the paper the next day at 9am.

So, the next day, Jeff and Joe turned up promptly and were ushered into separate rooms.  In each room there was one desk with a pen and the exam paper, face down.

At exactly 9am, Jeff and Joe were both told to turn over the paper which revealed just one question.

“Which tyre?”

Next Meeting, 23rd June 2020 – Online!

It is at times of stress that people need social contact more than ever, and board games are a great medium for that.  Despite the limitations of “remote gaming”, the overwhelming impression is that it is important to stay in touch, so we are persisting with online meetings.  Therefore, our next meeting will be on Tuesday 23rd June 2020; we will gather from around 7.30pm, and start playing at 8pm.

This week, the “Feature Game” will be Las Vegas Royale.  This is a new version of one of our favourite games, Las Vegas that adds some new features as well as implementing some elements of the Boulevard expansion.  Although the new game only plays five, the original plays more and the social aspect is so important at the moment that we will be playing as a large group again.

Las Vegas Royale
– Image by BGG contributor kalchio

And talking of Las Vegas…

One evening, Jeff was sitting at home watching TV when he heard a voice in his head.  It said, “Sell your house, go to Vegas….”

The following evening, the voice returned, again, exhorting him to sell his home and go to Las Vegas.  After the third night, Jeff found it was praying on his mind and he couldn’t get the thought out of his head.  Over the course of next couple of weeks, the problem got worse and worse, until eventually he could ignore it no longer.  So, he sold his house, his car and all his board games and caught a flight.

On his arrival, the voice became more persistent this time telling him to go to the Cleopatra Cassino.  So Jeff did as he was bid.  As he entered the venue, the voice changed again, this time saying, “Place everything you have on the high roller roulette.”

Obediently, Jeff found a high roller roulette table and the voice changed again, “Bet it all on twenty-four black…”

Without thinking, Jeff put everything he owned on twenty-four black and the voice fell silent as Jeff watched the roulette wheel start to turn.  Then the ball began rolling and bouncing and rolling.  It seemed like an age, but eventually the ball started to slow and eventually stutter and stop.

As the ball landed on double zero, the voice in his head simply said, “Bugger.”

Next Meeting, 9th June 2020 – Online!

It is at times of stress that people need social contact more than ever, and board games are a great medium for that.  Despite the limitations of “remote gaming”, the overwhelming impression is that it is important to stay in touch, so we are persisting with online meetings.  Therefore, our next meeting will be on Tuesday 9th June 2020; we will gather from around 7.30pm, and start playing at 8pm.

This week, the “Feature Game” will be Noch Mal! (aka Encore!).  As previously, the main reason this was chosen is because lots of people can play; the social aspect is so important at the moment and games where everyone can be involved are great.  In this game, dice determine which colour and how many spaces players can mark off on their personal playing sheet.

Noch Mal!
– Image by boardGOATS

And talking of dice…

Jeff and Joe were working as casino dealers, when a very attractive blonde woman walked in.  Her first bet was £20,000 on a single roll of the dice.

Before she rolled though, she said, “I hope you don’t mind, but I feel much luckier when I’m completely nude.”

With that, she swiftly and elegantly slipped out of her dress and rolled rolled the die, yelling, “Come on, baby, Mama needs new clothes!”

As the die came to a stop she jumped up and down and squealed, “YES! YES! I WON, I WON!” In her excitement, she hugged Jeff and Joe then quickly picked up her winnings and her clothes and departed.

The dealers stared at each other dumbfounded. Finally, Joe asked, “So, what did she roll then?”

Jeff answered, “I don’t know – I thought you were watching…”

Next Meeting, 26th May 2020 – Online!

It is at times of stress that people need social contact more than ever, and board games are a great medium for that.  Despite the limitations of “remote gaming”, the overwhelming impression is that it is important to stay in touch, so we are persisting with online meetings.  Therefore, our next meeting will be on Tuesday 26th May 2020; we will gather from around 7.30pm, and start playing at 8pm.

This week, the “Feature Game” will be Saboteur.  Once again, the main reason this was chosen is because lots of people can play; the social aspect is so important at the moment and games where everyone can be involved are great.  This is a very fairly light hidden role game with lots of interaction, where players are dwarves digging tunnels to find gold, unless they are Saboteurs of course…

Saboteur
– Image by boardGOATS

And talking of tunnels…

Tenders were invited from various construction companies for the building of a replacement for the Channel Tunnel.  Jeff had been working in construction and, as his workload was light, when he came across an advert, he decided apply.

On the day of opening the tenders everybody was surprised to find Jeff’s tender was the lowest.  Other tenders were quoting billions of pounds, but Jeff had offered to do the job for just £10,000.  Under EU ruling, the tender had to go to the lowest bidder, which put Jeff in the hot seat.  However, before giving the works order to Jeff, the civil servant in charge asked Jeff how he could afford to do the work at such a low budget.

Jeff said, “Look, there’s me and there’s my brother Joe.  We will take two shovels and I will start digging from English bank and Joe will start digging from French bank. The moment we meet, you get a tunnel.”

The dumbstruck officer asked with courage, “And if you don’t meet?”

Jeff replied, “Then you will get two tunnels for the same price.”

Next Meeting, 12th May 2020 – Online!

It is at times of stress that people need social contact more than ever, and board games are a great medium for that.  Despite the limitations of “remote gaming”, the overwhelming impression is that it is important to stay in touch, so we are persisting with online meetings.  Therefore, our next meeting will be on Tuesday 12th May 2020; we will gather from around 7.30pm, and start playing at 8pm.

This week, the “Feature Game” will be one of our favourite games, the game of bulls’ heads, 6 Nimmt!.  We have chosen this game because lots of people can play, and this is intended to be a social event so it is important that everyone can be involved and we’ve had an awful lot of fun with the game in the past on games nights.  It is a very simple game and everyone knows the rules, so it should be a relatively gentle introduction for those not used to the environment.

6 Nimmt!
– Image by boardGOATS

And speaking of bulls…

Farmer Jeff was inspecting his herd of cattle, when a large, sudden, gust of wind knocked all the cows to the ground. The bulls, on the other hand, just swayed as the wind buffeted them, and continued eating.

Jeff was very surprised by this, so went up to one of the bulls and asked,”How come you bulls are all still standing when all the heifers were blown over?”

The bull looked at him for a moment before replying, “Because we bulls wobble, but we don’t fall down…”

Next Meeting, 28th April 2020 – Online!

It is at times of stress that people need social contact more than ever, and board games are a great medium for that.  Despite the limitations of “remote gaming”, the overwhelming impression is that it is important to stay in touch, so we are persisting with online meetings.  Therefore, our next meeting will be on Tuesday 28th April 2020; we will gather from around 7.30pm, and start playing at 8pm.

This week, the “Feature Game” will be Tsuro, “The Game of the Path”.  We have chosen this game because lots of people can play, and this is intended to be a social event so it is important that everyone can be involved.  The rules as written have hidden information, but we are going to make some modifications to make it work, and play it on the slightly larger, Tsuro of the Seas board.

Tsuro
– Image by boardGOATS

And speaking of paths…

Jeff and his housemate Joe were out for their daily exercise walking down a path near their home, when they spot a deep hole in the ground.  As they stood around the hole together looking in, Jeff asked, “How far down do you reckon that hole goes?”

Joe replied, “I don’t know, let’s chuck something in and find out.”

With that, they looked about and spotted an old radiator in the nearby bushes that someone had fly-tipped (since the Council had closed the tip as a non-essential service).  Jeff pointed to it and started to drag it towards the hole.  Joe gave him a hand and together, the pair half dragged, half carried it and dropped it into the hole.

They started to count and listen for the thud, but before they heard the radiator land, they saw a large goat charging at them from the bushes.  Terrified by it’s huge horns they started to run, but as they did so, the goat leapt into the hole.  Now some distance from the hole and shocked and confused, Jeff and Joe decided to continue their walk along the footpath.

About ten minutes later, they were confronted by an old farmer who asked, “You haven’t seen a goat lately, have you?”

Jeff answered, “We have actually – about a mile back.  It sort of ran at us and then dived into a pit at high speed.”

The farmer gave him a strange look, “But that’s impossible, he was tied to an old radiator…”

Next Meeting, 14th April 2020 – Online!

It is at times like this that we need social contact more than ever, and board games are a great medium for that.  Despite the limitations experienced last time, the overwhelming impression is that we should persist with online meetings.  So, our next meeting will be on Tuesday 14th April 2020; we will gather from around 7.30pm, and start playing at 8pm.

This week, the “Feature Game” will be Camel Up.  We have chosen this game because lots of people can play (especially with the Supercup expansion), and this is intended to be a social event so lots of people can be involved.  The game has some hidden information, but with a couple of minor tweaks it should still work.

Camel Up
– Image by boardGOATS

And speaking of Camels…

Two camels, a father and son are grazing peacefully.  The younger camel looks up to his father and says, “Dad!  Why do we have these giant humps on our backs?”  The father camel looks down at his young son and says, “Why, they are so we can travel for miles in the desert without stopping for water.”  The young camel looks astonished and says “Wow, I didn’t know that!”

A minute or so later, the younger camel pipes up again, “Dad! Why do we have really thick eyelashes?”  His father, slightly irritated at being disturbed from his grazing by his son’s curiosity, answers quickly, “So that our eyes are not scratched by sand storms.”

“Wow!” the young camel replies and then a moment later, daddy camel hears his son again, “Dad!”

“What now!” his father asks clearly biting his tongue. His son asks, “Why do we have such huge feet, Dad?”

“Well son,” his father said in strained patience, “We need to tread through the sand and our feet are big so we can travel more easily.”

This time a few minutes pass before the father hears his son again.  Daddy camel, clearly agitated snaps, “What!?!?”

“Dad… What are we doing in a zoo then?”

Next Meeting, 31st March 2020 – Online!

It is at times like this that we need social contact more than ever, and board games are a great medium for that.  As everyone is now confined to barracks and working from home, tonight’s meeting will be online, starting at 8pm.  There are several online gaming alternatives, but they all either cost or are horribly slow thanks to the fact that everyone else is trying to do the same… For this reason, we are going to try a real game using webcams.

So, this week, the “Feature Game” will be Las Vegas.  We have chosen this game because everyone knows it, so we can get started with minimal explanation; lots of people can play (eight) so as this is intended to be a social thing lots of people can be involved; it has no hidden information, so it should “work”.

Las Vegas
– Image by boardGOATS

And speaking of working from home…

It was a freezing cold morning in late March, and Jeff was up early as he had been having difficulties sleeping.   First thing he did after getting out of the shower was send a text to his girlfriend saying, “Windows frozen, won’t open.”

Jeff’s long-suffering girlfriend, Julie, responded, “Carefully pour lukewarm water over it and gently tap edges with hammer.”

Five minutes later, Jeff replied , “Computer really messed up now.”

Next Meeting, 17th March 2020 – Cancelled

The situation regarding Covid-19 is now developing very rapidly and as of yesterday Government advice was “Avoid pubs … and other such social venues”.  With this in mind, it would irresponsible to continue formal advertised GOATS meetings.  That said, if the Horse and Jockey remains open, people are of course free to turn up at the usual time for food and games.

Covid-19
– Image from imperial.ac.uk

Next Meeting – 3rd March 2020

Our next meeting will be on Tuesday 3rd March, at the Horse and Jockey pub in Stanford-in-the-Vale. As usual, we will be playing shorter games from 7.30pm as people arrive, until 8pm when we will start something a little longer.

This week, the “Feature Game” will be the Hellas map from the Hellas & Elysium expansion to Terraforming Mars. In Terraforming Mars, each person takes the role of a giant corporation, sponsored by the World Government on Earth to initiate projects to raise the temperature, the oxygen level, and the ocean coverage until the environment on Mars is habitable.  The Hellas map presents a new areas of Mars to explore: the Mars’ south pole and the enormous seven-hex Hellas crater that just begs to become a giant lake. Building around the pole gives placement bonuses in the form of heat and possibly even water.

Terraforming Mars: Hellas & Elysium
– Image used with permission of boardgamephotos

And speaking of Mars…

Jeff got off the space ship to start the first day of his holiday on the red planet.  Looking around he decided he could really do with a drink, so headed for the nearest bar.

Waiting in the queue to be served, he picked up a bar towel and started chewing the corner. The barman looked a bit concerned, so asked, “Are you all right sir?  Maybe I could get you a beer instead…?”

“Oh,” replied Jeff, “That’d be great”.  And he ordered a pint, found a table, and sat down to enjoy his beer.

After a bit he started gnawing on the back of one of the chairs. Eventually, the barman came to the conclusion he had to do something; after all, Jeff was beginning to worry the other customers. He approached Jeff and asks what on earth (or perhaps Mars) he thought he was doing?

Jeff looked bemused.  “I’m really sorry,” he said, “I thought this was a Mars Bar…”