Category Archives: Next Meeting

Next Meeting – 19th March 2019

Our next meeting will be on Tuesday 19th March, at the Horse and Jockey pub in Stanford-in-the-Vale.  As usual, we will be playing shorter games from 7.30pm as people arrive, until 8pm when we will start something a little longer.

This week the “Feature Game” will be Botswana (aka Wildlife Safari).  This is a very clever little set collecting card game with an African animal theme and some very cool, plastic, safari animals.

Botswana
– Image by boardGOATS

And speaking of safaris…

Jeff was on safari with his wife and mother-in-law.  One evening, while still deep in the jungle, Jeff’s wife awoke to find her mother gone.  Rushing to her husband, she insisted on them both trying to find her mother.  Jeff picked up his rifle, put on his hat, and started to look for her.  In a clearing not far from the camp, they came upon a chilling sight:  Jeff’s mother-in-law was backed up against a thick, impenetrable bush, and a large male lion stood facing her.

Jeff’s wife cried, “What are we going to do?”

“Nothing,” replied Jeff. “The lion got himself into this mess, let him get himself out of it.”

Next Meeting – 5th March 2019

Our next meeting will be on Tuesday 5th March, at the Horse and Jockey pub in Stanford-in-the-Vale.  As usual, we will be playing shorter games from 7.30pm as people arrive, until 8pm when we will start something a little longer.

This week the “Feature Game” will be Key Flow, a sort of card game version of one of our favourite games, Keyflower.  In truth, though the theme is similar and the iconography and some of the mechanisms are the same, the two games are really very different.  Key Flow is a card drafting game where players are adding cards to their village, and to the river that flows alongside.

Key Flow
– Image by boardGOATS

And speaking of rivers…

Jeff had just been handed his P45 and was feeling very, very down.  He had loved his job and been proud of what he did and didn’t know how he was going to tell his friends and family.  Walking home, he crossed a bridge high above the Thames.  As he looked over the railing he contemplated his position and suddenly found himself standing on the top rail getting ready to jump.  As he perched precariously, he happened to look down and saw a little man with no arms dancing on the river bank below.

Jeff thought, “My life isn’t so bad after all—at least I have both arms.” And with that he got off the railing.  Filled with a strange feeling of relief, he then walked down to the river bank to thank the little man for saving his life.

“Excuse me…” Jeff said as he approached the little man.  “I Just wanted to say thank-you.  I was about to jump off that bridge and kill myself, but when I saw you dancing even though you have no arms, I changed my mind.”

“Dancing? I’m not dancing,” the armless man replied bitterly.  “I’ve got an itch and I can’t scratch it!”

Next Meeting – 19th February 2019

Our next meeting will be on Tuesday 19th February, at the Horse and Jockey pub in Stanford-in-the-Vale.  As usual, we will be playing shorter games from 7.30pm as people arrive, until 8pm when we will start something a little longer.

This week the “Feature Game” will be Celestia (a remake of Cloud 9), players take on the roles of adventurers exploring the cities of Celestia by airship.  At the beginning of each round, the captain rolls the dice to discover the challenges he will face.  Before he does so, however, each player must decide whether to stay on board, or leave and forfeit the potential riches to come.

Celestia
– Image used with permission of boardgamephotos

And speaking of airships…

An airship was carrying passengers from all over the world. Suddenly everybody heard a noise and the airship began to lose height. The stewardess approaches the passenger closest to her, a Frenchman, and said, “There is a hole in the airship and we are losing height. Please jump out, sir, the airship will be less heavy and you will save a lot of people.”

The Frenchman thought it over, looked at his beautiful wife and decided to do the honourable thing: he knocked back a whole bottle of wine and shouting, “Vive la France!” jumped over the side.

Unfortunately, it didn’t help; the airship was still losing height, now even more rapidly than before. So the stewardess went to the next passenger, a Scandinavian and said, “Please, sir, the airship is falling from the sky and we will all die, unless you jump out of the airship.”

The Scandinavian thought it over, looked at his young family and felt he had no choice. He took a deep breath, knocked back a bottle of aquavit, then shouted “Vikings rule the world!” and jumped.

Sadly, the airship was still falling out of the sky. And so, the stewardess went to the next passenger, a Scotsman and explained the situation, “There is a hole in the airship, we are going to crash, please sir, if you jump out of the airship and save everyone.”

“Ach, no way, lady!” the Scot replied.

“Please, sir, I beg you,” the stewardess pleaded, “If you jump you will will be a hero!”

The Scotsman looked over the side at the rapidly approaching ground and thought it over quickly. With just a slight hesitation, he knocked back all remaining alcohol, then shouted “Long live St George” and threw the Englishman next to him over the side…

Next Meeting – 5th February 2019

Our next meeting will be on Tuesday 5th February, at the Horse and Jockey pub in Stanford-in-the-Vale.  As usual, we will be playing shorter games from 7.30pm as people arrive, until 8pm when we will start something a little longer.

This week the “Feature Game” will be Through the Desert, an area control game with pastel camels that many feel is reminiscent of the classic, Go.  During the game, players try to score the most points by snaking caravans of camels through the dunes, trying to reach oases and blocking off sections of the desert.

Through The Desert
– Image by BGG contributor haslo

And speaking of camels…

Jeff was working for the army in a remote part of Iraq. When he arrived, he was given a tour of the site and towards the end, he noticed a particularly mangy old camel tied up behind the barracks, so he asked his guide what it was for.

The young soldier looked extremely embarrassed, but eventually said, “Well sir, there are over two hundred men here far and no women. Sometimes the men get… urges.”

“Oh right,” replied Jeff, now equally embarrassed, “I see.”

Six weeks later, Jeff was coming to the end of his stay in Iraq. He’d spent almost all of the time in camp and was starting to feel very… frustrated. Lying in bed early one morning, he suddenly remembered the camel and no matter what he did he couldn’t get the idea out of his mind.  So after an hour, he got out of bed and sneaked out of the building to the back of the barracks where the camel was quietly minding it’s own business.

Jeff, who by this time had only one thing on his mind, dropped his trousers, grabbed a conveniently nearby stool, clambered up, and proceeded to vent his frustration by giving the poor unfortunate camel the ride of its life. He was so engrossed, he didn’t see the soldier who had given him the tour and was on his way to guard duty. The young man stopped and stared; as Jeff finished and dressed, he suddenly realised he had an audience.

Jeff felt he had to break the oppressive silence. He pointed at the stool, “Is that how the others do it?” he asked.

“Well, no sir,” replied the soldier slightly awkwardly, “They normally just use the camel to ride to the nearest brothel…”

Next Meeting – 22nd January 2019

Our next meeting will be on Tuesday 22nd January, at the Horse and Jockey pub in Stanford-in-the-Vale.  As usual, we will be playing shorter games from 7.30pm as people arrive, until 8pm when we will start something a little longer.

This week the “Feature Game” will be Auf Teufel komm raus, a fun, push-your luck game with a betting element.  “Auf Teufel komm raus” literally translates as “On Devil come out“, but roughly means “by hook or by crook” or according to rule book, “The Devil with it” (as the title is officially translated).  None of these really give any information about the game though where players are betting on how many coals they can pull out of the fire without getting caught by the Devil.

Auf Teufel komm raus
– Image by boardGOATS

And speaking of the Devil…

St. Peter and Satan were planning a football match, but there was a bit of a dispute.  The Devil wanted home advantage, but St. Peter felt the brimstone would be a significant disadvantage for anyone from Heaven.  In the end they agreed the match would be played on neutral turf between a select team from the heavenly host and a band of Satan’s hand picked players.

“Very well,” said the gatekeeper of Heaven. “But you realize, I hope, that we’ve got all the best players and the smartest coaches.”

“I know, and that’s all right,” Satan answered unperturbed. “We’ve got all the referees.”

Next Meeting – 8th January 2019

Our next meeting will be on Tuesday 8th January, at the Horse and Jockey pub in Stanford-in-the-Vale.  As usual, we will be playing shorter games from 7.30pm as people arrive, until 8pm when we will start something a little longer.

This week the “Feature Game” will be Hare & Tortoise, an older game that was the first ever winner of the Spiel des Jahres award in 1979.  It is a cunningly designed race where the farther a player moves, the more fuel (carrots) they have to spend.  Thus, the winner will be the player who uses their carrots most efficiently, but they must also have got rid of any lettuce cards and make sure they don’t have a surfeit of carrots as they cross the finish line…

Hare & Tortoise
– Image by boardGOATS

And talking of the hare and the tortoise…

Jeff the hare loved running, but he also loved winning.  One sunny day, he saw a tortoise  peacefully minding his own business in a field, so he asked him if he fancied a race.  After some discussion, they eventually agreed to race to the nearest tree. It wasn’t far, but the hare was easily there first.

“Not fair!” said the tortoise, “My legs are only little and take a while to warm up, please can we try again?”

The hare had enjoyed his win, so was happy give the tortoise another chance; this time they raced to the river. The hare was off first, and again, won by a huge margin.

“Just once more, I’m sure I can do it this time,” the tortoise pleaded.

While the hare liked winning, winning is no fun without a credible challenger, but he could see it mattered to the tortoise so he reluctantly agreed.

“Oh alright then, but this will be the last one, and then I have to go home,” said the hare.

“Well, let’s just have a race to see who gets home first then,” suggested the tortoise.

The hare agreed and they got ready to race.

“3…. 2… 1… GO!” said the hare, and paused to  give the tortoise just a little head start.

The tortoise retreated into its shell.

“I win.”

Next Meeting – 31st December 2018

Following the success of last year’s New Year party, we are having another one this year be on Monday 31st December.  As it is New Year’s Eve and the pub have their own event, we will be meeting at a private house in Stanford and starting slightly earlier at 7pm with food served sometime around 8pm.  Please get in touch if you would like to come along so we know how much food will be needed.

The plan is to start off early with the “Feature Game”, which, as has become traditional, will be the gorgeous, dexterity car-racing game, PitchCar.  After that, we will be eating, pulling more crackers, popping party poppers, playing more games and maybe set off some fireworks at midnight, depending on how cold it is!

PitchCar
– Image by BGG contributor visard

And talking of cars…

A policeman sees an elderly woman driving incredibly slowly on the motorway, so he pulls along side and notices her knitting in the driver’s seat.  She remains focused on the road and keeps knitting and driving.

He beeps his horn to get her attention, but she is oblivious and carries on.

Getting more frustrated, the policeman turns his siren on and, as she finally notices him, he signals for her to wind the window down.

After a time she finds the button and down goes the window.

Incensed, the cop yells, “PULL OVER!”

“Oh, no sweetie,” she replies.  “It’s a scarf, see?”