Category Archives: Next Meeting

Next Meeting, 13th October 2020 – Online!

It is at times of stress that people need social contact more than ever, and board games are a great medium for that.  Despite the limitations of “remote gaming”, the overwhelming impression is that it is important to stay in touch, so we are persisting with online meetings.  Therefore, our next meeting will be on Tuesday 13th October 2020; we will gather from around 7.30pm, and start playing at 8pm.

To celebrate our eighth birthday, as is now traditional, the “Feature Game” will be Crappy Birthday.  This is a silly little filler/party game that is great fun when played rarely—about once a year is perfect.  With the current challenge of “remote gaming” we have had to play it a little differently this year.  So, everyone “wrapped their parcels” last time and this time we will be unwrapping them together…

Crappy Birthday
– Image by boardGOATS

And speaking of birthdays…

It was Jeff’s birthday and, as it was a special birthday, his brother had bought him a special present.  Before opening the gift, Jeff shook it slightly, and noticed that it was wet in the corner.  Touching his finger to the wet spot and tasting it, he asked, “Is it a bottle of wine?”

His brother shook his head, “No…” So, again, Jeff touched his finger to the box and tasted the liquid.

“A bottle of Scotch then?” he asked, beginning to get all excited – this was way better than he’d expected.  Again his brother shook his head though, “No, not a bottle of Scotch…”

Eventually, Jeff said, “OK, I give in, what is it?”

His brother paused for effect, before answering, “A puppy!”

Next Meeting, 29th September 2020 – Online!

It is at times of stress that people need social contact more than ever, and board games are a great medium for that.  Despite the limitations of “remote gaming”, the overwhelming impression is that it is important to stay in touch, so we are persisting with online meetings.  Therefore, our next meeting will be on Tuesday 29th September 2020; we will gather from around 7.30pm, and start playing at 8pm.

This week, the “Feature Game” will be Welcome To….  This is another “Roll and Write” style game, though without the colouring-in element of some of the games we’ve played recently.  In this game, players are planing and building housing estates in 1950s USA.  In addition, we will be “wrapping parcels” for Crappy Birthday, to celebrate the eighth anniversary of our first meeting back in 2012.

Welcome To...
– Image by boardGOATS

And talking of building work…

Jeff and Joe were working as builders, replacing wooden facias on a house.  Jeff looked over at Joe and was shocked to see him taking nails from his pouch, one by one, inspecting them, and throwing them over his shoulder.

Jeff yelled, “Hey Joe, what-ya doing?  Why-ya throwing all those nails away for!?!?”

Joe yelled back, “Don’t shout at me, Jeff! It’s not my fault—all of these nails all have the head on the wrong end!”

Jeff pulled a nail from his own pouch, looked at it for a second, and yelled back, “Joe, you idiot, don’t throw them away, we can use them on the other side of the house!”

Next Meeting, 15th September 2020 – Online!

It is at times of stress that people need social contact more than ever, and board games are a great medium for that.  Despite the limitations of “remote gaming”, the overwhelming impression is that it is important to stay in touch, so we are persisting with online meetings.  Therefore, our next meeting will be on Tuesday 15th September 2020; we will gather from around 7.30pm, and start playing at 8pm.

This week, the “Feature Game” will be Patchwork Doodle.  This is another “Roll and Write” style game that is quite similar to the Tetrissy Second Chance, but with different scoring and is loosely based on the idea of making a patchwork quilt.  It is quite a short game so as everyone will have their colouring pens out, we might give Cartographers another go if there is time.

Patchwork Doodle
– Image by boardGOATS

And talking of needle-work…

Jeff was out of work, and the only place within miles was a factory where they made the stuffed toys called “Tickle-Me-Elmo”.

So, he drove there the next day to offer his services and was immediately introduced to the manager. Jeff explains that he’s out of work, but has a lot of experience in the textiles business and is very neat with a needle and thread. The manager answers, “Well, this is your lucky day, we’ve just lost someone in the factory and it sounds like you would be perfect.” He goes on to explain what he will be doing and tells Jeff he can start first thing in the morning.

The next day Jeff comes in and goes straight to work. It’s not long before there are problems and the head foreman sees the line is backing up and the bottle neck is where Jeff is working.

The foreman checks what Jeff is doing and the goes straight to the factory manager. He says to his boss, “You are not going to believe what the new guy is doing! He has a bag of marbles, some red cloth, and a needle and thread.  As each Elmo comes off the line he is sewing a little red pouch between the legs and is inserting two marbles. I mean, they are kiddies toys—I just didn’t know what to say to him!”

The manager says he will take care of it and heads straight down to the factory floor.  He approaches Jeff and lets him know that they need to talk.  Jeff politely puts down his needle and thread and listens.

The manager explains, “I am really sorry, but I think you may have misunderstood me when I said that each Tickle-Me-Elmo gets two test tickles…”

Next Meeting, 1st September 2020 – Online!

It is at times of stress that people need social contact more than ever, and board games are a great medium for that.  Despite the limitations of “remote gaming”, the overwhelming impression is that it is important to stay in touch, so we are persisting with online meetings.  Therefore, our next meeting will be on Tuesday 1st September 2020; we will gather from around 7.30pm, and start playing at 8pm.

This week, the “Feature Game” will be ClipCut Parks.  This is a variant on the the recent “Roll and Write” style games that have been so successful, but this time, with scissors.  It is more complex than some of the games we’ve played like Noch Mal! and Second Chance, and again, those with good spacial awareness will be at a slight advantage.  Not cutting any fingers off will help too.

ClipCut Parks
– Image by boardGOATS

And talking of parks…

A woman was walking through the park when she saw Jeff sitting on a park bench.  He was engrossed in a book and eating his lunch out of a Tupperware container.  After a minute or two watching him, the woman walked over to Jeff and sat down next to him on the bench.  She waited until he looked up and then turned to him and said, “Sorry to bother you. I know this may be a little forward, but I would really love to go for a coffee with you some time; I’m sure we’d have loads to talk about.”

Flattered, Jeff replied, “That would be lovely, but what makes you so certain that you and I would get along so well?”

“Well,” the woman answered, “A couple things, actually. Firstly, I noticed you were wearing an Fairport Convention T-shirt. Fairport are my favourite band of all time.  My parents took me to see their reunion Festival at Broughton Castle in 1982. I was 12 years old, it was the first concert I ever went to. I absolutely adore Fairport.”

Jeff couldn’t believe his luck. “I went to Broughton Castle in 1982 as well! It was the first concert I ever went to on my own. My best friend Joe and I told our parents we were spending the weekend at each others’ houses, then we snuck out and hitch-hiked all the way there.  We camped and had a great time—I got Richard Thomson’s signature on my album cover!”

Naturally, they were both surprised and pleased.

“If that isn’t weird enough,” said the woman, “I noticed you’re reading Mark Twain. I was a communications student at university and wrote my dissertation on Mark Twain: how he used satire as a lens to comment on current events of the time, comparing him to satirical news sources of today. He’s my favourite author”

Now Joe was really taken aback. “No way!” he exclaimed.  “I studied English at university and specialized in nineteenth century American literature.  This is my fourth or fifth time reading Tom Sawyer, I absolutely adore Mark Twain.”

They both couldn’t believe it—it had to be a match made in heaven.

“OK,” the woman said, “Well, you’ll never believe this, this is the icing on the cake. I noticed you’re eating prunes with your lunch.  Prunes are my absolutely favourite fruit. When I was little, my grandfather lived on a farm. He had an orchard that mainly grew apples and pears, but he knew how much my sister and I loved prunes so he kept a couple of plum trees. Every year at the end of the summer, we’d go up and harvest the plums with him. He’d dry them and by the time we went back at Christmas he’d always have those prunes saved, just for us. They’re my all time favourite favourite fruit! I just love prunes; you’re eating a prune—this has got to be fate. What do you say?”

Jeff put down his lunch and responded, “It’s a date.”

Next Meeting, 18th August 2020 – Online!

It is at times of stress that people need social contact more than ever, and board games are a great medium for that.  Despite the limitations of “remote gaming”, the overwhelming impression is that it is important to stay in touch, so we are persisting with online meetings.  Therefore, our next meeting will be on Tuesday 18th August 2020; we will gather from around 7.30pm, and start playing at 8pm.

This week, the “Feature Game” will be Railroad Ink: Deep Blue Edition.  This is a return to the the recentRoll and Write” style games that have been so successful, though rather than the communal colouring fest that is Second Chance and Cartographers, in this game players are planning a road and rail network.  It is more complex than some of the games we’ve played like Noch Mal! and Second Chance, and those with good spacial awareness will be at a slight advantage, though careful planning is the key.

Railroad Ink: Deep Blue Edition
– Image by boardGOATS

And talking of railway lines…

Jeff swaggered into his favourite pub, and asked the landlord for a pint.

As the bartender reached for a fresh glass, he commented, “You look very pleased with yourself, did you win the lottery?”

Jeff replied, “On my way home from here last night, I had to cross the railway, and I came across this girl tied to the tracks. So I untied her, and took her home, and we had a fantastic night.”

The landlord was shocked.  Reflecting he said, “I cannot imagine anything as terrifying as being lashed onto the cold steel rails, waiting with dread for the distant whistle then the vibration of the oncoming train, desperately hoping that someone would come along to help.  She must have been really grateful! Tell me, is she pretty?”

Jeff paused for a second thoughtfully. “Hard to say,” he said. “It was dark, and I never did find her head.”

Next Meeting, 4th August 2020 – Online!

It is at times of stress that people need social contact more than ever, and board games are a great medium for that.  Despite the limitations of “remote gaming”, the overwhelming impression is that it is important to stay in touch, so we are persisting with online meetings.  Therefore, our next meeting will be on Tuesday 4th August 2020; we will gather from around 7.30pm, and start playing at 8pm.

This week, in a change from the recentRoll and Write” games (namely Noch Mal!, Second Chance and Cartographers), the “Feature Game” will be Finstere Flure (aka Fearsome Floors).  This is an older game where players are trying to get their pieces across the dungeon of prince Fieso’s fortress, without being eaten by the monster, Furukulus.

Finstere Flure
– Image by boardGOATS

And talking of monsters…

Jeff had a fear that there was a monster living under his bed. Because he wasn’t sleeping, it was affecting all aspects of his life, so he decided to seek professional help. During the consultation, the specialist told him his situation was unusual but not unheard of. He explained that he could be cured, but it would take a minimum of six sessions at £250 each.

Jeff declined citing the large cost and decided to struggle on.

A few months later, Jeff was at a pub when he bumped into the same specialist, who asked if he’d made any progress.

“It’s perfect doctor,” Jeff responded, “No more monsters.”

“That’s really excellent, but how did you manage it?” the specialist asked.

“Well,” said Jeff, “I told a friend of mine, and she solved my problem in exchange for a bottle of whiskey.”

The specialist was puzzled. “What did she do?” he asked.

Jeff, replied gleefully, “She told me to saw the legs off my bed!”

Next Meeting, 21st July 2020 – Online!

It is at times of stress that people need social contact more than ever, and board games are a great medium for that.  Despite the limitations of “remote gaming”, the overwhelming impression is that it is important to stay in touch, so we are persisting with online meetings.  Therefore, our next meeting will be on Tuesday 21st July 2020; we will gather from around 7.30pm, and start playing at 8pm.

This week, the “Feature Game” will be Cartographers: A Roll Player Tale.  This is a slightly more complicated “Roll and Write” game, that builds on our experience with Noch Mal! and Second Chance which both worked so well.  Cartographers is a little bit more involved than the other two, but also works with many players.  It was nominated for the Kennerspiel des Jahres Award this year and we thought we would play it to celebrate the winners of the Spiel/Kennerspiel des Jahres winners which have just been announced.

Cartographers: A Roll Player Tale
– Adapted from image by BGG Contributor Johnny Dangerously

And talking of cartographers…

Jeff’s cartographer wife, Jill, was worried she’d lost some very important topographical maps.  They spent all morning trying to find them, looking high and low. Eventually, when all hope was lost and Jill thought she was going to have to start again from scratch, Jeff opened a desk draw they had already searched twice, and there they were.

When Jeff showed his wife what he’d found, she said, “Oh, that’s a relief…!”

Next Meeting, 7th July 2020 – Online!

It is at times of stress that people need social contact more than ever, and board games are a great medium for that.  Despite the limitations of “remote gaming”, the overwhelming impression is that it is important to stay in touch, so we are persisting with online meetings.  Therefore, our next meeting will be on Tuesday 7th July 2020; we will gather from around 7.30pm, and start playing at 8pm.

This week, the “Feature Game” will be Second Chance.  This is a very simple “Roll and Write” game, similar to Noch Mal! which worked so well a few weeks back, that we played it twice.  Although Roll and Write games have a tendency to feel like multiplayer solitaire, they are very successful when played remotely and can usually play a lot of people (often more than originally designed for).

Second Chance
– Image by boardGOATS

And talking of second chances…

Jeff and Joe we were sitting exams.  On the eve of their final paper, they drove for an hour to a bar, to celebrate.  Unfortunately, they had a couple too many and ended up spending the night in the car.

By the time they reached the examination room the next morning, the exam was over and invigilator had collected all the papers.  Jeff and Joe explained to their supervisor how they’d had a puncture in the middle of the night and had to wait for daylight to get someone to change the tyre for them. They begged and pleaded with the lecturer for a second chance to take the exam.  Much to the lads’ surprise and delight, their examiner was sympathetic towards them and told them to come back to take the paper the next day at 9am.

So, the next day, Jeff and Joe turned up promptly and were ushered into separate rooms.  In each room there was one desk with a pen and the exam paper, face down.

At exactly 9am, Jeff and Joe were both told to turn over the paper which revealed just one question.

“Which tyre?”

Next Meeting, 23rd June 2020 – Online!

It is at times of stress that people need social contact more than ever, and board games are a great medium for that.  Despite the limitations of “remote gaming”, the overwhelming impression is that it is important to stay in touch, so we are persisting with online meetings.  Therefore, our next meeting will be on Tuesday 23rd June 2020; we will gather from around 7.30pm, and start playing at 8pm.

This week, the “Feature Game” will be Las Vegas Royale.  This is a new version of one of our favourite games, Las Vegas that adds some new features as well as implementing some elements of the Boulevard expansion.  Although the new game only plays five, the original plays more and the social aspect is so important at the moment that we will be playing as a large group again.

Las Vegas Royale
– Image by BGG contributor kalchio

And talking of Las Vegas…

One evening, Jeff was sitting at home watching TV when he heard a voice in his head.  It said, “Sell your house, go to Vegas….”

The following evening, the voice returned, again, exhorting him to sell his home and go to Las Vegas.  After the third night, Jeff found it was praying on his mind and he couldn’t get the thought out of his head.  Over the course of next couple of weeks, the problem got worse and worse, until eventually he could ignore it no longer.  So, he sold his house, his car and all his board games and caught a flight.

On his arrival, the voice became more persistent this time telling him to go to the Cleopatra Cassino.  So Jeff did as he was bid.  As he entered the venue, the voice changed again, this time saying, “Place everything you have on the high roller roulette.”

Obediently, Jeff found a high roller roulette table and the voice changed again, “Bet it all on twenty-four black…”

Without thinking, Jeff put everything he owned on twenty-four black and the voice fell silent as Jeff watched the roulette wheel start to turn.  Then the ball began rolling and bouncing and rolling.  It seemed like an age, but eventually the ball started to slow and eventually stutter and stop.

As the ball landed on double zero, the voice in his head simply said, “Bugger.”

Next Meeting, 9th June 2020 – Online!

It is at times of stress that people need social contact more than ever, and board games are a great medium for that.  Despite the limitations of “remote gaming”, the overwhelming impression is that it is important to stay in touch, so we are persisting with online meetings.  Therefore, our next meeting will be on Tuesday 9th June 2020; we will gather from around 7.30pm, and start playing at 8pm.

This week, the “Feature Game” will be Noch Mal! (aka Encore!).  As previously, the main reason this was chosen is because lots of people can play; the social aspect is so important at the moment and games where everyone can be involved are great.  In this game, dice determine which colour and how many spaces players can mark off on their personal playing sheet.

Noch Mal!
– Image by boardGOATS

And talking of dice…

Jeff and Joe were working as casino dealers, when a very attractive blonde woman walked in.  Her first bet was £20,000 on a single roll of the dice.

Before she rolled though, she said, “I hope you don’t mind, but I feel much luckier when I’m completely nude.”

With that, she swiftly and elegantly slipped out of her dress and rolled rolled the die, yelling, “Come on, baby, Mama needs new clothes!”

As the die came to a stop she jumped up and down and squealed, “YES! YES! I WON, I WON!” In her excitement, she hugged Jeff and Joe then quickly picked up her winnings and her clothes and departed.

The dealers stared at each other dumbfounded. Finally, Joe asked, “So, what did she roll then?”

Jeff answered, “I don’t know – I thought you were watching…”