Category Archives: Next Meeting

Next Meeting – 16th May 2017

Our next meeting will be on Tuesday, 16th May, at the Horse and Jockey pub in Stanford-in-the-Vale.  As usual, we will be playing shorter games from 7.30pm as people arrive, until 8pm when we will start something a little longer.

This week the “Feature Game” will be Keyflower, which is a tile laying game with an unusual auction mechanic implemented using meeples. We’ve chosen Keyflower because it is one of our favourite games, but it is a long time since we’ve played it and lots of several players seem to have missed out.

– Image by boardGOATS

And talking of auctions…

Jeff wen to an auction and bought a Stradivarius and a Rembrandt.  He was very happy with them since the price he paid was remarkably low, and even he had heard the names.  Although he knew they were valuable, Jeff had no idea how much they were actually worth, so he decided ask a valuer to put a number on his windfall.

In response to his query, the valuer explained, “Well sir, this is indeed a Stradivarius and that is a Rembrandt, but it’s a great pity that Stradivarius couldn’t paint and Rembrandt couldn’t build violins…”

Next Meeting – 2nd May 2017

Our next meeting will be on Tuesday, 2nd May, at the Horse and Jockey pub in Stanford-in-the-Vale.  As usual, we will be playing shorter games from 7.30pm as people arrive, until 8pm when we will start something a little longer.

This week the “Feature Game” will be Mamma Mia!, a little card game with a pizza theme – something that seems wholly appropriate given how many of us now have pizza on a Tuesday at The Jockey.  Mamma Mia! was designed by Uwe Rosenberg who was also responsible for Bohnanza, one of our all-time favourite card games, so it will be interesting to see how it compares.

Mamma Mia!
– Image by boardGOATS

And talking of pizza…

Jeff was in Japan on a business trip, but after a few days he had a hankering for pizza, so he asked the concierge at his hotel if there was anywhere nearby that he could get one. The concierge told him he was in luck and a pizza place had just opened down the road, and they delivered.

The concierge gave Jeff the phone number, and he took it back to his room and ordered a pizza. Thirty minutes later, the delivery man appeared at his room door with the pizza. As Jeff took the pizza he began sneezing uncontrollably.

Jeff asked the delivery man, ”What on earth did you put on this pizza?”

The delivery man bowed deeply and replied, “We put on the pizza what you ordered: pepper only…”

Next Meeting – 18th April 2017

Our next meeting will be on Easter Tuesday, 18th April, at the Horse and Jockey pub in Stanford-in-the-Vale.  As usual, we will be playing shorter games from 7.30pm as people arrive, until 8pm when we will start something a little longer.

This week the “Feature Game” will be Power Grid, which is a game where the aim is to supply the most cities with power when someone’s network reaches a predetermined size. Players mark pre-existing routes between cities for connection, then bid against each other to purchase the power plants that they need to power these cities. However, as power plants are purchased, newer, more efficient plants become available, so by merely purchasing, you’re potentially allowing others access to superior equipment.

Power Grid Deluxe: Europe/North America
– Image used with permission of boardgamephotos

And talking of electricity…

Jeff was working as an electrician rewiring a property.  After a full week of work, the homeowner was delighted with end result and all the hard work Jeff had put into his house.

“You did a great job,” he said, and handed Jeff a cheque. “Also, as a special thank-you, here’s an extra £80 to take the missus out to dinner and maybe see a film.  Show her a good time – I’m sure she deserves it.”

Later that evening, the doorbell rang and it was Jeff.  Thinking the electrician had maybe left something behind the homeowner asked, “Is everything OK?  Did you forget something?”

“No,” Jeff replied. “I’m just here to take your missus out to dinner and show her a good time, just like you asked…”

Next Meeting – 4th April 2017

Our next meeting will be on Tuesday 4th April, at the Horse and Jockey pub in Stanford-in-the-Vale.  As usual, we will be playing shorter games from 7.30pm as people arrive, until 8pm when we will start something a little longer.

This week the “Feature Game” will be Viticulture, where players take on the roles of beneficiaries in rustic, pre-modern Tuscany who have inherited meager vineyards. Each player starts with a few plots of land, an old crushpad, a tiny cellar, and three workers.  Using those workers and visitors, players can expand their vineyards by building structures, planting vines, and filling wine orders.  The winner is the player with the most successful vineyard in Tuscany.

Viticulture
– Image used with permission of BGG reviewer EndersGame

And talking of wine…

Jeff got on a bus one morning and sat down next to a priest.  He was on his way home after a night out and stank of wine, his shirt was stained, his face was all red, and he had a half-empty bottle of wine sticking out of his pocket.  He opened his newspaper and slowly started reading.

A couple of minutes later, he asked the priest, “Father, what causes arthritis?”

The priest replied, “Mister, it’s caused by loose living, being with cheap, wicked women, too much alcohol, and contempt for your fellow man.”

“Well, imagine that,” the Jeff muttered in reply and returned to reading his paper.

The priest, thought about what he had said, and after a couple of moments, turned to Jeff and apologised.  “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to be so judgmental. How long have you had arthritis?”

“I don’t have arthritis, Father,” Jeff replied, “But I just read in the paper that the Pope does.”

Next Meeting – 21st March 2017

Our next meeting will be on Tuesday 21st March, at the Horse and Jockey pub in Stanford-in-the-Vale.  As usual, we will be playing shorter games from 7.30pm as people arrive, until 8pm when we will start something a little longer.

This week the “Feature Game” will be Habitats, a tile laying game in which players build a big wildlife park without cages or fences.  Animals need their natural habitats: grassland, bush, rocks or lakes.  Points are awarded at the end of the game based on whether an animal’s requirements are satisfied; the player with the most points is the winner.

Habitats
– Image used with permission of BGG contributor punkin312

And talking of wildlife parks…

Starting his new job at a wildlife park, Jeff asked the Head keeper what he should do for his first task.

“Go and clean out the aquarium” he was told.

Arriving at the aquarium, he discovered that all the fish were dead. He rushed back to the head keeper and asked what he should do.

“Throw them to the lions,” said the head keeper, “The lions will eat anything”.

So, Jeff returned to the aquarium, picked up all the dead fish and threw them into the lion’s cage. That done, he was instructed to go and clean out the ape house.  When he got there, he was shocked to discover two of the chimpanzees dead in the cage, so he rushed back for instructions.

“Don’t worry,” said the head keeper, “Just throw them to the lions, the lions will eat anything.”

So Jeff returned to the ape house and threw the dead animals into the lions cage.  Next he was told to go along and help clean up the insect house. Busy cleaning out one off the exotic hives, Jeff noticed that in one hive all the bees had died.

“I know what to do,” he thought to himself, “I’ll throw them all to the lions, as the lions will eat anything.”  So Jeff he swept up all the dead bees and threw them into the lion cage.

The next day, the zoo obtained a new lioness. The lioness was walking around the new cage for the first time, and started asking the other lions what to expect.

“Hows the accommodation?” she asked.

“Fine,” came the reply from one lion.

“And whats the food like?” she asked.

“Not bad,” answered another lion, “Yesterday, we had fish, chimps and mushy bees…”

Next Meeting – 7th March 2017

Our next meeting will be on Tuesday 7th March, at the Horse and Jockey pub in Stanford-in-the-Vale.  As usual, we will be playing shorter games from 7.30pm as people arrive, until 8pm when we will start something a little longer.

This week the “Feature Game” will be Citrus, a tile laying game where players are building citrus plantations.  In order to build, however, it’s essential to harvest plantations from time to time as this is the only way to bring in new income, but when is the timing right? And most importantly, which plantation should be harvested, thus taking it out of the race for the important points during the scoring?

Citrus
– Image used with permission of boardgamephotos

And talking of citrus fruit…

Jeff had been suffering from a cold, so went to the market trying to buy some oranges.  He asked at the first stall he came to, but the stall-holder apologised and explained he had no citrus fruit today.  So, Jeff continued round the market asking everywhere for oranges, but to no avail.  Eventually he came back to the first stall and thought he’d try his luck again, but again, the the stall-holder apologised and explained he had no citrus fruit today.

By this time, Jeff was desperate and begged the stall-holder, who was beginning to get exasperated.  In the end, he said to Jeff, “Answer a three questions and I will get you your oranges from the back.”

Jeff agreed and the man started asking his questions, “First, spell ‘cat’ for me, as in catastrophe.”

Jeff thought for a moment and then replied, “C A T”.

“Very good,” the stall-holder said, “Now spell ‘dog’, as in dogmatic.”

Jeff didn’t hesitate this time, “D O G,” he responded.

Finally, the stall-holder asked, “Now spell, ‘flip’, as in oranges.”

Jeff paused a moment, puzzled. “But there is no ‘flip’ in oranges,” he answered eventually.  The stall-holder replied, “That’s exactly what I’ve been trying to tell you – No Flippin’ Oranges!”

Next Meeting – 21st February 2017

Our next meeting will be on Tuesday 21st February, at the Horse and Jockey pub in Stanford-in-the-Vale.  As usual, we will be playing shorter games from 7.30pm as people arrive, until 8pm when we will start something a little longer.

This week the “Feature Game” will be Bokken Schieten (aka Ziegen Kriegen or Cliff Hanger). This is a quick little trick-taking game in which players accumulate goats.  The winner of the game is the player who collected the most goat’s heads without going over the limit dictated by the central hill.

Bokken Schieten
– Image by boardGOATS

And talking of goats…

Jeff was driving round London when a policeman pulled him over.  “What are you doing with that goat?” he exclaimed, pointing to the goat sitting in the passenger seat. “You should take it to the zoo.”

“That’s an excellent idea officer, I will do just that!” replied Jeff and the Policeman waved him on his way.

A week later, the same policeman saw Jeff again, once more with the goat in the passenger seat, but this time both were wearing sunglasses.

As before, the policeman pulled him over, “I thought you were going to take that goat to the zoo!” he said angrily.

Jeff replied, “I did. We had such a good time we are going to the beach this weekend!”