Our next meeting will be on Tuesday 24^th February, at the Horse and Jockey pub in Stanford-in-the-Vale.  As usual, we will be playing shorter games from 7.30pm as people arrive, until 8pm when we will start something a little longer.

This week the “Feature Game” will be Niagara. This is a slightly more in-depth “pick-up and deliver” type game with players constantly fighting the movement of the river as well as each other.  Basically, players are trying to collect gems by travelling up and down the river, however, they must beware of the ever-changing flow of the river, which can carry little canoes over the falls and turn them into match-wood…

– Image used with permission of BGG contributor William Hunt

And talking of Niagara Falls…

Jeff and his cousin Joe were on holiday together in the USA, and decided to go and see Niagara Falls.  During the day they had a ride in a little boat and admired the spectacular cataract and they finished the day in a bar.  After a few drinks, Jeff issued his cousin a challenge, “I bet you £500 that you can’t carry me across the falls using a tightrope.”  Now Joe never could resist a challenge and, since he had been learning to tight-rope walk (and he’d also had a few drinks of course), he accepted the challenge.

The next morning, still hung-over, Jeff and Joe got up early to make the crossing.  After a bit of head-scratching, they managed to set up the tight-rope and Joe began to carry Jeff across the river.  After a very scary half hour, Joe managed to stagger safely across carrying Jeff, and Jeff grudgingly paid the £500.

“That was very close,” Jeff said. “When you wobbled at about halfway, I was sure I’d won; the car is on the other side of the river, double or quits?”

Our next meeting will be on Tuesday 10^th February, at the Horse and Jockey pub in Stanford-in-the-Vale.  As usual, we will be playing shorter games from 7.30pm as people arrive, until 8pm when we will start something a little longer.

This week the “Feature Game” will be Takenoko. The story goes that the Chinese Emperor offered the Japanese Emperor a giant panda bear as a symbol of peace, so the Japanese Emperor entrusted his court (the players) with the difficult task of caring for the animal by tending to his bamboo garden.  So players have to cultivate and irrigate land and grow bamboo with the help of the Imperial gardener.  The winner is the player who manages the land best and grows the most bamboo to satisfy the panda’s appetite.

– Image used with permission of BGG contributor nad24 and nonsensicalgamers.com

And talking of Pandas…

Jeff walked into a bar with his pet panda. It was about 5 pm, but Jeff liked his drink and was ready for a good night. They started off slowly, watching the sport on the TV, drinking beer and eating peanuts.  As the night went on, they moved on to mixed drinks, and then shots, one after the other.

Finally, the Landlord called, “Last orders!” So, Jeff asked for one last drink for himself and one for his panda.  The landlord duly set them up and Jeff and the panda knocked them back.  Suddenly, the panda staggered and dropped down dead.  Jeff, more than a little tipsy, threw some money on the bar, put on his coat and started to leave.

The bartender, yelled, “Hey, you can’t just leave that lyin’ there.”

Jeff replied, “That’s not a lion, that’s a panda.”

Our next meeting will be on Tuesday 27^th January, at the Horse and Jockey pub in Stanford-in-the-Vale.  As usual, we will be playing shorter games from 7.30pm as people arrive, until 8pm when we will start something a little longer.

This week the “Feature Game” will be the card game Saboteur. This is a quick game that we’ve played before, where players are dwarves working together digging tunnels to find gold.  But there is a catch – there is a saboteur in their midst…!  The game is quite quick and great fun with a crowd, so chosen this game so that we can play something a little longer afterwards.

– Image used with permission of BGG contributor mothertruckin

And talking of tunnels…

Tenders were invited from various construction companies for the building of a replacement for the Channel Tunnel.  Jeff had been working in construction and, as his workload was light, when he came across an advert, he decided apply.

On the day of opening the tenders everybody was surprised to find Jeff’s tender was the lowest.  Other tenders were quoting billions of pounds, but Jeff had offered to do the job for just £10,000.  Under EU ruling, the tender had to go to the lowest bidder, which put Jeff in the hot seat.  However, before giving the works order to Jeff, the civil servant in charge asked Jeff as to how he could afford to work at such a low budget.

Jeff said,”Look, there’s me and there’s my brother Joe.  We will take two shovels and I will start digging from English bank and Joe will start digging from French bank. The moment we meet, you get a tunnel.”

The dumbstruck officer asked with courage,”And if you don’t meet?”

Jeff replied,”Then you will get two tunnels for the same price.”

Our next meeting will be on Tuesday 13^th January, at the Horse and Jockey pub in Stanford-in-the-Vale.  As usual, we will be playing shorter games from 7.30pm as people arrive, until 8pm when we will start something a little longer.

This week the “Feature Game” will be King of Tokyo, which is a fun game where players are mutant monsters, gigantic robots, and strange aliens – all of whom are destroying Tokyo and attacking each other in order to become the one and only King of Tokyo.  The winner must either destroy Tokyo, or be the only surviving monster once all the fighting has ended.

– Image by BGG contributor christianrehm

And talking about monsters…

Jeff was quite convinced that he’d swallowed a monster, and nothing his doctor said would make him change his mind.

Eventually, after trying several non-invasive therapies, the doctor decided he had to do something about it as his patient was getting quite distressed.  So, made Jeff a special appointment and, when he arrived asked him to change into a hospital gown and lie on the bed.  He then gave Jeff an injection that put him into a deep sleep.

When Jeff woke up, the doctor was standing beside his bed, holding a great big green monster on a lead.

“There’s nothing more to worry about,” the doctor said. “We operated on you and removed the monster.”

“Who are you trying to kid?” said Jeff. “The one I swallowed was blue!”

Our next meeting will be on Tuesday 16^th December, at the Horse and Jockey pub in Stanford-in-the-Vale.  As usual, we will be playing shorter games from 7.30pm as people arrive, until 8pm when we will start something a little longer.

This week the “Feature Game” will be CO₂.  This is an unusual game as it is both co-operative and competitive.  The idea is that players have to work together to save the planet, if they fail, they all fail.  However, if they succeed, then the player with the most successful energy company wins.  This means that players constantly have to balance doing the best thing for the team and the best thing for themselves.

And talking about the saving the planet…

The leaders of Europe are all sitting around a table at the Copenhagen Climate Change summit.

After the initial pleasantries, Gordon Brown speaks first. “I will end climate change, just like I ended boom and bust! I will be tough on Climate Change and tough on the causes of climate change!  Britain will spend “£200 billion on fighting Climate Change this year!”

Before Brown has even sat back down, Angela Merkel of Germany begins to speak.  “That’s nothing! We will spend €300 billion on fighting climate change!”

Nicolas Sarkozy of France speaks next; “We will end zis climate change. We will spend €1 trillion on fighting climate change!”

Attention now turns to the president of Armenia, he stands and meekly announces, “We have budgeted to spend $1,000 on fighting climate change over the next 10 years.”

People around the table begin to snigger. Embarrassed, the Armenian president slams his fist onto the table and shouts “OK, OK, we will spend $100 trillion on climate change!”.

The sniggering around the table has now become hysterics.  After a couple of minutes, the noise abates and Gordon Brown asks, “How will you afford that?”

“Well” the Armenian president began, “The real figure was bit low, so I just made something up. Isn’t that how it works around here?”