It is at times of stress that people need social contact more than ever, and board games are a great medium for that.  Despite the limitations of “remote gaming”, the overwhelming impression is that it is important to stay in touch, so we are persisting with online meetings.  Therefore, our next meeting will be on Tuesday 24^th Movember 2020; we will gather from around 7.30pm, and start playing at 8pm.

This week, the “Feature Game” will be Troyes Dice.  This is back to the “Roll and Write” style games and is a very recent release, based on the well regarded game Troyes (pronounced a bit like the French for the number “three”, trois).  It is a planning and resource management game with an interesting rondel mechanism.

– Image by boardGOATS

And talking of Troyes…

Jeff had been learning French when he acquired two kittens.  To help him with his language skills he called one of them “One-two-three” and the other “Un-deux-triois”.  As the kittens grew up, they became increasingly competitive.  One day, the kittens had a race across the lake.  “One-two-three” won the race, because “Un-deux-trois” cat sank…

It is at times of stress that people need social contact more than ever, and board games are a great medium for that.  Despite the limitations of “remote gaming”, the overwhelming impression is that it is important to stay in touch, so we are persisting with online meetings.  Therefore, our next meeting will be on Tuesday 10^th Movember 2020; we will gather from around 7.30pm, and start playing at 8pm.

This week, the “Feature Game” will be HexRoller.  This is back to the “Roll and Write” style games and is a relatively recent release.  It is a path building, abstract game played on a hexagon-based board, because hexagons are bestagons!

– Image by boardGOATS

And talking of hexagons…

Jeff had been trying to teach his pet parrot to speak, but was struggling as the parrot liked learning what it wanted rather than what Jeff was teaching.

“Repeat after me,” said Jeff, “Five sides is a pentagon.”

The parrot sat silently, so Jeff continued, “Six sides  is a hexagon.”

The parrot just looked at him, so Jeff tried again, “Eight sides is an octagon.”

With that the parrot said, “Five sides is a hexagon!” then gave a loud squawk, fell off his perch and landed on the floor of his cage stone dead.

Jeff just stood and stared in horror.  His wife, hearing the noise came in from the other room.

“What on earth happened?” she asked.

Jeff replied, “Polygon.”

It is at times of stress that people need social contact more than ever, and board games are a great medium for that.  Despite the limitations of “remote gaming”, the overwhelming impression is that it is important to stay in touch, so we are persisting with online meetings.  Therefore, our next meeting will be on Tuesday 27^th October 2020; we will gather from around 7.30pm, and start playing at 8pm.

This week, the “Feature Game” will be Tiny Towns.  Unusually, this is not a “Roll and Write” game, though it has some similar elements and is played with some of the pieces from the birthday boxes everyone opened last time.  It is an area and resource management game where players are planning and building a town.

– Image by boardGOATS

And talking of planners…

Jeff went to see a planning consultant to ask for help building his new house.  As he arrived and was being introduced to the consultant, he asked, “What’s your least expensive fee?”

The consultant answered, “£150 for three questions.”

Jeff looked quite shocked and exclaimed, “That’s very expensive, isn’t it?

“Yes, it is,” replied the consultant. “So what’s your third question?”

It is at times of stress that people need social contact more than ever, and board games are a great medium for that.  Despite the limitations of “remote gaming”, the overwhelming impression is that it is important to stay in touch, so we are persisting with online meetings.  Therefore, our next meeting will be on Tuesday 13^th October 2020; we will gather from around 7.30pm, and start playing at 8pm.

To celebrate our eighth birthday, as is now traditional, the “Feature Game” will be Crappy Birthday.  This is a silly little filler/party game that is great fun when played rarely—about once a year is perfect.  With the current challenge of “remote gaming” we have had to play it a little differently this year.  So, everyone “wrapped their parcels” last time and this time we will be unwrapping them together…

– Image by boardGOATS

And speaking of birthdays…

It was Jeff’s birthday and, as it was a special birthday, his brother had bought him a special present.  Before opening the gift, Jeff shook it slightly, and noticed that it was wet in the corner.  Touching his finger to the wet spot and tasting it, he asked, “Is it a bottle of wine?”

His brother shook his head, “No…” So, again, Jeff touched his finger to the box and tasted the liquid.

“A bottle of Scotch then?” he asked, beginning to get all excited – this was way better than he’d expected.  Again his brother shook his head though, “No, not a bottle of Scotch…”

Eventually, Jeff said, “OK, I give in, what is it?”

His brother paused for effect, before answering, “A puppy!”

It is at times of stress that people need social contact more than ever, and board games are a great medium for that.  Despite the limitations of “remote gaming”, the overwhelming impression is that it is important to stay in touch, so we are persisting with online meetings.  Therefore, our next meeting will be on Tuesday 29^th September 2020; we will gather from around 7.30pm, and start playing at 8pm.

This week, the “Feature Game” will be Welcome To….  This is another “Roll and Write” style game, though without the colouring-in element of some of the games we’ve played recently.  In this game, players are planing and building housing estates in 1950s USA.  In addition, we will be “wrapping parcels” for Crappy Birthday, to celebrate the eighth anniversary of our first meeting back in 2012.

– Image by boardGOATS

And talking of building work…

Jeff and Joe were working as builders, replacing wooden facias on a house.  Jeff looked over at Joe and was shocked to see him taking nails from his pouch, one by one, inspecting them, and throwing them over his shoulder.

Jeff yelled, “Hey Joe, what-ya doing?  Why-ya throwing all those nails away for!?!?”

Joe yelled back, “Don’t shout at me, Jeff! It’s not my fault—all of these nails all have the head on the wrong end!”

Jeff pulled a nail from his own pouch, looked at it for a second, and yelled back, “Joe, you idiot, don’t throw them away, we can use them on the other side of the house!”

It is at times of stress that people need social contact more than ever, and board games are a great medium for that.  Despite the limitations of “remote gaming”, the overwhelming impression is that it is important to stay in touch, so we are persisting with online meetings.  Therefore, our next meeting will be on Tuesday 1^st September 2020; we will gather from around 7.30pm, and start playing at 8pm.

This week, the “Feature Game” will be ClipCut Parks.  This is a variant on the the recent “Roll and Write” style games that have been so successful, but this time, with scissors.  It is more complex than some of the games we’ve played like Noch Mal! and Second Chance, and again, those with good spacial awareness will be at a slight advantage.  Not cutting any fingers off will help too.

– Image by boardGOATS

And talking of parks…

A woman was walking through the park when she saw Jeff sitting on a park bench.  He was engrossed in a book and eating his lunch out of a Tupperware container.  After a minute or two watching him, the woman walked over to Jeff and sat down next to him on the bench.  She waited until he looked up and then turned to him and said, “Sorry to bother you. I know this may be a little forward, but I would really love to go for a coffee with you some time; I’m sure we’d have loads to talk about.”

Flattered, Jeff replied, “That would be lovely, but what makes you so certain that you and I would get along so well?”

“Well,” the woman answered, “A couple things, actually. Firstly, I noticed you were wearing an Fairport Convention T-shirt. Fairport are my favourite band of all time.  My parents took me to see their reunion Festival at Broughton Castle in 1982. I was 12 years old, it was the first concert I ever went to. I absolutely adore Fairport.”

Jeff couldn’t believe his luck. “I went to Broughton Castle in 1982 as well! It was the first concert I ever went to on my own. My best friend Joe and I told our parents we were spending the weekend at each others’ houses, then we snuck out and hitch-hiked all the way there.  We camped and had a great time—I got Richard Thomson’s signature on my album cover!”

Naturally, they were both surprised and pleased.

“If that isn’t weird enough,” said the woman, “I noticed you’re reading Mark Twain. I was a communications student at university and wrote my dissertation on Mark Twain: how he used satire as a lens to comment on current events of the time, comparing him to satirical news sources of today. He’s my favourite author”

Now Joe was really taken aback. “No way!” he exclaimed.  “I studied English at university and specialized in nineteenth century American literature.  This is my fourth or fifth time reading Tom Sawyer, I absolutely adore Mark Twain.”

They both couldn’t believe it—it had to be a match made in heaven.

“OK,” the woman said, “Well, you’ll never believe this, this is the icing on the cake. I noticed you’re eating prunes with your lunch.  Prunes are my absolutely favourite fruit. When I was little, my grandfather lived on a farm. He had an orchard that mainly grew apples and pears, but he knew how much my sister and I loved prunes so he kept a couple of plum trees. Every year at the end of the summer, we’d go up and harvest the plums with him. He’d dry them and by the time we went back at Christmas he’d always have those prunes saved, just for us. They’re my all time favourite favourite fruit! I just love prunes; you’re eating a prune—this has got to be fate. What do you say?”

Jeff put down his lunch and responded, “It’s a date.”

It is at times of stress that people need social contact more than ever, and board games are a great medium for that.  Despite the limitations of “remote gaming”, the overwhelming impression is that it is important to stay in touch, so we are persisting with online meetings.  Therefore, our next meeting will be on Tuesday 18^th August 2020; we will gather from around 7.30pm, and start playing at 8pm.

This week, the “Feature Game” will be Railroad Ink: Deep Blue Edition.  This is a return to the the recent “Roll and Write” style games that have been so successful, though rather than the communal colouring fest that is Second Chance and Cartographers, in this game players are planning a road and rail network.  It is more complex than some of the games we’ve played like Noch Mal! and Second Chance, and those with good spacial awareness will be at a slight advantage, though careful planning is the key.

– Image by boardGOATS

And talking of railway lines…

Jeff swaggered into his favourite pub, and asked the landlord for a pint.

As the bartender reached for a fresh glass, he commented, “You look very pleased with yourself, did you win the lottery?”

Jeff replied, “On my way home from here last night, I had to cross the railway, and I came across this girl tied to the tracks. So I untied her, and took her home, and we had a fantastic night.”

The landlord was shocked.  Reflecting he said, “I cannot imagine anything as terrifying as being lashed onto the cold steel rails, waiting with dread for the distant whistle then the vibration of the oncoming train, desperately hoping that someone would come along to help.  She must have been really grateful! Tell me, is she pretty?”

Jeff paused for a second thoughtfully. “Hard to say,” he said. “It was dark, and I never did find her head.”

It is at times of stress that people need social contact more than ever, and board games are a great medium for that.  Despite the limitations of “remote gaming”, the overwhelming impression is that it is important to stay in touch, so we are persisting with online meetings.  Therefore, our next meeting will be on Tuesday 4^th August 2020; we will gather from around 7.30pm, and start playing at 8pm.

This week, in a change from the recent “Roll and Write” games (namely Noch Mal!, Second Chance and Cartographers), the “Feature Game” will be Finstere Flure (aka Fearsome Floors).  This is an older game where players are trying to get their pieces across the dungeon of prince Fieso’s fortress, without being eaten by the monster, Furukulus.

– Image by boardGOATS

And talking of monsters…

Jeff had a fear that there was a monster living under his bed. Because he wasn’t sleeping, it was affecting all aspects of his life, so he decided to seek professional help. During the consultation, the specialist told him his situation was unusual but not unheard of. He explained that he could be cured, but it would take a minimum of six sessions at £250 each.

Jeff declined citing the large cost and decided to struggle on.

A few months later, Jeff was at a pub when he bumped into the same specialist, who asked if he’d made any progress.

“It’s perfect doctor,” Jeff responded, “No more monsters.”

“That’s really excellent, but how did you manage it?” the specialist asked.

“Well,” said Jeff, “I told a friend of mine, and she solved my problem in exchange for a bottle of whiskey.”

The specialist was puzzled. “What did she do?” he asked.

Jeff, replied gleefully, “She told me to saw the legs off my bed!”

It is at times of stress that people need social contact more than ever, and board games are a great medium for that.  Despite the limitations of “remote gaming”, the overwhelming impression is that it is important to stay in touch, so we are persisting with online meetings.  Therefore, our next meeting will be on Tuesday 21^st July 2020; we will gather from around 7.30pm, and start playing at 8pm.

This week, the “Feature Game” will be Cartographers: A Roll Player Tale.  This is a slightly more complicated “Roll and Write” game, that builds on our experience with Noch Mal! and Second Chance which both worked so well.  Cartographers is a little bit more involved than the other two, but also works with many players.  It was nominated for the Kennerspiel des Jahres Award this year and we thought we would play it to celebrate the winners of the Spiel/Kennerspiel des Jahres winners which have just been announced.

– Adapted from image by BGG Contributor Johnny Dangerously

And talking of cartographers…

Jeff’s cartographer wife, Jill, was worried she’d lost some very important topographical maps.  They spent all morning trying to find them, looking high and low. Eventually, when all hope was lost and Jill thought she was going to have to start again from scratch, Jeff opened a desk draw they had already searched twice, and there they were.

When Jeff showed his wife what he’d found, she said, “Oh, that’s a relief…!”