Our next meeting will be on Tuesday, 22^nd August, at the Horse and Jockey pub in Stanford-in-the-Vale.  As usual, we will be playing shorter games from 7.30pm as people arrive, until 8pm when we will start something a little longer.

This week the “Feature Game” will be Survive: Escape from Atlantis!, which is a cut-throat game with elements of strategy, teamwork and memory.  Players are trying evacuate their pieces from Atlantis as the island sinks and get as many to shore before a volcano finishes everyone off, but some pieces are more valuable than others…

– Image used with permission of BGG contributor punkin312

And talking of Islands…

Jeff, Joe and Jim had got themselves stranded on island. One day, the three of them were walking along the beach and discovered a magic lamp. They knew what to do and rubbed and  and rubbed, and sure enough, out popped a genie.

The genie said, “Since I can only grant three wishes, you may each have one.”

Joe was quickest off the mark and answered, “I’ve been stuck here for years. I miss my family, my girlfriend, and my life. I just want to go home.”

With a puff of smoke, Joe got his wish and was returned to his family.  Jim, was really impressed and fancied a try saying, “I’ve been stuck here for years as well. I miss my family, my wife, and my life. I wish I could go home too.”

Another puff of smoke and Jim was gone too.  Meanwhile, Jeff had been watching with increasing concern and when Jim vanished he looked near to tears.  The genie noticed his obvious distress and asked, “Whatever’s the matter?”

Jeff replied, “I wish my mates were still here, what am I gonna do without them?!?!”

Our next meeting will be on Tuesday, 8^th August, at the Horse and Jockey pub in Stanford-in-the-Vale.  As usual, we will be playing shorter games from 7.30pm as people arrive, until 8pm when we will start something a little longer.

This week the “Feature Game” will be Honshū, a light trick-taking, map-building card game loosely set in feudal Japan.  Players are lords and ladies of noble houses seeking new lands and opportunities for fame and fortune.  This is a clever little card game where manipulating player order is crucial to success.

– Image by boardGOATS

And talking of Japan…

In the time of the Samurai there was a powerful Emperor who needed a new head Samurai so he sent out a declaration throughout the country that he was searching for one. A year passed and only three people showed up.

The Emperor asked the first Samurai to come in and demonstrate why he should be head Samurai. The first Samurai opened a match box and out popped a little fly. With one flick of his sword, the fly dropped dead on the ground in two pieces.

The Emperor exclaimed, “That is very impressive!”

The Emperor then asked the second Samurai to come in and demonstrate his skill. The second Samurai also opened a match box and out popped a fly.  The Samurai’s sword moved so fast the Emperor couldn’t see it as the fly dropped dead on the floor in four pieces.

The Emperor exclaimed, “That is really very impressive!”

The Emperor then had the third Samurai in to demonstrate why he should be the head Samurai. The third Samurai also opened a match box and out popped a fly. His flashing blade moved around the room faster and longer than the previous applicants and a gust of wind filled the room, but the fly was still alive and buzzing around.

The Emperor, obviously disappointed, asked, “After all of that, why is the fly not dead?”

The third Samurai bowed deeply and smiled, “If you look closely, you’ll see that the fly has been circumcised!”

Our next meeting will be on Tuesday, 25^th July, at the Horse and Jockey pub in Stanford-in-the-Vale.  As usual, we will be playing shorter games from 7.30pm as people arrive, until 8pm when we will start something a little longer.

This week the “Feature Game” will be Kingdomino, a light tile-laying game borrowing aspects from Carcassonne and Dominoes with an interesting auction mechanic.  Although we’ve played it a lot recently, everyone seems to like Kingdomino and this week we have chosen to celebrate its recent award of the coveted German Game of the Year or Spiel des Jahres.

– Image by boardGOATS

And talking of winning…

Jeff was catching a long-distance train and found himself sitting next to a pretty blond American girl. Jeff asked the young lady if she would like to play a game and explained how it works.

“I ask you a question,” he explained, “And if you don’t know the answer you pay me, then we switch.”

The blond replied, “That’s not fair, I never even finished high school!”

“That’s OK,” replied the Jeff.  “If you don’t know the answer you pay me only £50, but if I don’t know the answer, I will pay you £250.”

The American girl eventually agreed and Jeff asked the first question, “What’s the distance from the earth to the moon?”

The blonde didn’t say a word and handed over £50 and then it was her turn.  She asked Jeff, “What goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four?”

Jeff looked puzzled. He took out his smart phone and searched everywhere he could. Frustrated, he phoned some friends and co-workers, all to no avail.  The train was due to arrive and Jeff had spent well over an hour of searching for the answer, but finally he gave up and handed the fair American £250.  The girl didn’t say anything and eventually Jeff’s curiosity got the better of him so he asked, “Well, what IS the answer?”

The blonde American didn’t answer, instead just handed over £50.

Our next meeting will be on Tuesday, 11^th July, at the Horse and Jockey pub in Stanford-in-the-Vale.  As usual, we will be playing shorter games from 7.30pm as people arrive, until 8pm when we will start something a little longer.

This week the “Feature Game” will be Santo Domingo, a light card game of tactics and bluffing with a pirate theme set in the world of one of our more popular games, Port Royal.  The game is a re-implementation of the slightly older game, Visby, which was only given a limited release.

– Image by boardGOATS

And talking of pirates…

Jeff the pirate had finally given up pirating and mended his ways, but his parrot had other ideas. He was constantly swearing and refusing to behave. Eventually, Jeff had had enough, so when the parrot started swearing again, he stuck it in the freezer for five minutes.

When Jeff fished it out again, the bird was very contrite and said, “I promise I’ll be good now, no more swearing. Just one question though: what on Earth did the turkey do?!?!”

Our next meeting will be on Tuesday, 11^th July, at the Horse and Jockey pub in Stanford-in-the-Vale.  As usual, we will be playing shorter games from 7.30pm as people arrive, until 8pm when we will start something a little longer.

This week the “Feature Game” will be Santo Domingo, a light card game of tactics and bluffing with a pirate theme set in the world of one of our more popular games, Port Royal.  The game is a re-implementation of the slightly older game, Visby, which was only given a limited release.

– Image by boardGOATS

And talking of pirates…

Jeff the pirate had finally given up pirating and mended his ways, but his parrot had other ideas. He was constantly swearing and refusing to behave. Eventually, Jeff had had enough, so when the parrot started swearing again, he stuck it in the freezer for five minutes.

When Jeff fished it out again, the bird was very contrite and said, “I promise I’ll be good now, no more swearing. Just one question though: what on Earth did the turkey do?!?!”

Our next meeting will be on Tuesday, 27^th June, at the Horse and Jockey pub in Stanford-in-the-Vale.  As usual, we will be playing shorter games from 7.30pm as people arrive, until 8pm when we will start something a little longer.

This week the “Feature Game” will be 20^th Century, a tile laying game where players build a land free of garbage and pollution – a land where the environment is as healthy as the economy.  Players accumulate points each round, based on their nation’s quality of life. They also score bonus points for certain aspects of their country’s development and at the end of the game points are awarded based on their country’s income, research, and environmental quality. The player with the most points wins, having built the country with the highest standard of living.

– Image by boardGOATS

And talking of modern life…

Jeff arrived at work looking very harassed, so  one of his mates asked him if he was OK.

Jeff replied, “I tell you, women drivers are a hazard to traffic. Driving to work this morning on the motorway, I looked over to my right and there was this woman in a Jaguar doing at least seventy miles per hour with her face up next to her rear view mirror putting on her mascara.”

He went on, “I looked away for a couple seconds and then the next thing I knew was she was careering all over my lane.”

Then Jeff paused a second, before concluding, “It scared me so badly that I dropped my electric razor into my coffee, and it spilled all over my mobile phone.”

Our next meeting will be on Tuesday, 13^th June, at the Horse and Jockey pub in Stanford-in-the-Vale.  As usual, we will be playing shorter games from 7.30pm as people arrive, until 8pm when we will start something a little longer.

This week the “Feature Game” will be the Capitals expansion to Between Two Cities.  Between Two Cities is a semi-cooperative tile laying game that we’ve played quite a lot within the group.  The Capitals expansion hasn’t been properly released yet, though it was available as a pre-release at the UK Games Expo ten days ago.

– Image by boardGOATS

And telling a Tale of Two Cities…

There was once a terrible crisis in London, the Thames had a new inhabitant – a horrible sea monster had slunk into the famed London waterway. Citizens who walked too close to the edge of the river were quietly devoured. The city was in an uproar! Who would save them from the horrible creature?

A young man came forward to answer the call. He was a poor man from an inconsequential village, but he had a heart of courage and a love for his countrymen.

He came to the banks of the Thames and called in a loud voice, “Monster! Show yourself if you dare!”

In a flash of scales and slime, the creature broke the surface of the water, his horrible jaws open to devour this arrogant young warrior.  Fortuitously, the hero was quicker, and his sword neatly sliced off the monster’s head. The people poured into the streets of London to celebrate! The crisis was over.

But the story wasn’t quite…

The citizens joyously pulled the carcass out of the Thames river, carved it into sections, and took it to butcher shops all over the city, where it was seasoned and mixed and pressed into the yummiest sausage ever tasted.

Yes, it was the beast of Thames…. it was the wurst of Thames…

Our next meeting will be on Tuesday, 30^th May, at the Horse and Jockey pub in Stanford-in-the-Vale.  As usual, we will be playing shorter games from 7.30pm as people arrive, until 8pm when we will start something a little longer.

This week the “Feature Game” will be Terraforming Mars, which is card driven resource management game built round a map of the planet and its moons.  Players take the role of giant corporations, sponsored by the World Government on Earth, to initiate huge projects to raise the temperature, the oxygen level, and the ocean coverage until the environment is habitable.  The game was recently nominated for this year’s Kennerspiel des Jahres.

– Image by boardGOATS

And talking of outer space…

Joe was telling his cousin Jeff about his recent journey – he had just come back from the USA and was very proud of his new-found travel experience.

“Yeah,” replied Jeff, “I love to travel too.  Last year I went to Turkey and next year I’m going to India.”

Not to be out-done, Joe responded, “I’m saving up for a flight on the new Virgin Galactic space flight, I’ve already put my name down for it.  I want to fly to the moon!”

“Cool,” answered Jeff.  Determined to go one better, he added, “I’m waiting for the flights to the sun though.”

“How does that work?” asked his cousin, “Won’t you get all burnt up from the heat and stuff?”

Jeff paused for a moment.  “No,” he said thoughtfully, “We’ll just fly at night…”

Our next meeting will be on Tuesday, 16^th May, at the Horse and Jockey pub in Stanford-in-the-Vale.  As usual, we will be playing shorter games from 7.30pm as people arrive, until 8pm when we will start something a little longer.

This week the “Feature Game” will be Keyflower, which is a tile laying game with an unusual auction mechanic implemented using meeples. We’ve chosen Keyflower because it is one of our favourite games, but it is a long time since we’ve played it and lots of several players seem to have missed out.

– Image by boardGOATS

And talking of auctions…

Jeff went to an auction and bought a Stradivarius and a Rembrandt.  He was very happy with them since the price he paid was remarkably low, and even he had heard the names.  Although he knew they were valuable, Jeff had no idea how much they were actually worth, so he decided ask a valuer to put a number on his windfall.

In response to his query, the valuer explained, “Well sir, this is indeed a Stradivarius and that is a Rembrandt, but it’s a great pity that Stradivarius couldn’t paint and Rembrandt couldn’t build violins…”

Our next meeting will be on Tuesday, 2^nd May, at the Horse and Jockey pub in Stanford-in-the-Vale.  As usual, we will be playing shorter games from 7.30pm as people arrive, until 8pm when we will start something a little longer.

This week the “Feature Game” will be Mamma Mia!, a little card game with a pizza theme – something that seems wholly appropriate given how many of us now have pizza on a Tuesday at The Jockey.  Mamma Mia! was designed by Uwe Rosenberg who was also responsible for Bohnanza, one of our all-time favourite card games, so it will be interesting to see how it compares.

– Image by boardGOATS

And talking of pizza…

Jeff was in Japan on a business trip, but after a few days he had a hankering for pizza, so he asked the concierge at his hotel if there was anywhere nearby that he could get one. The concierge told him he was in luck and a pizza place had just opened down the road, and they delivered.

The concierge gave Jeff the phone number, and he took it back to his room and ordered a pizza. Thirty minutes later, the delivery man appeared at his room door with the pizza. As Jeff took the pizza he began sneezing uncontrollably.

Jeff asked the delivery man, ”What on earth did you put on this pizza?”

The delivery man bowed deeply and replied, “We put on the pizza what you ordered: pepper only…”