As is now traditional, our last meeting of the year will be the New Year party on Monday, 31^st December 2016.  As it is New Year’s Eve we will be starting early and will be meeting in a private house in Stanford, with food later.  Please get in touch if you would like to come along so we know how much food to prepare.

The plan is to start off early with the “Feature Game”, which, As has become traditional, will be the gorgeous, dexterity car-racing game, PitchCar.  We will be eating later and maybe set off some fireworks at midnight, depending on how cold and wet it is!

– Image used with permission of BGG contributor garyjames

And talking of cars…

A policeman sees an elderly woman driving incredibly slowly on the motorway, so he pulls along side and notices her knitting in the driver’s seat.  She remains focussed on the road and keeps knitting and driving.

He beeps his horn to get her attention, but she is oblivious and carries on.

Getting more frustrated, the policeman turns his siren on and, as she finally notices him, he signals for her to wind the window down.

After a time she finds the button and down goes the window.

Incensed, the cop yells, “PULL OVER!”

“Oh, no sweetie,” she replies holding up her knitting, “It’s a scarf, see?”

Our next meeting will be on Wednesday 28^th December, at the Horse and Jockey pub in Stanford-in-the-Vale.  As usual, we will be playing shorter games from 7.30pm as people arrive, until 8pm when we will start something a little longer.

This week the “Feature Game” will be Chicago Express (aka Wabash Cannonball), which is an economic game with a train theme and zero-luck.  The game is fairly simple, with three possible actions per turn and a maximum of eight rounds.  The player with the most money at the end of the game wins.

– Image used with permission of boardgamephotos

And speaking of trains…

Jeff decided to visit his sister who was living in France. He assumed that most French would speak English, so didn;t even take a phrasebook with him.  Unfortunately, Jeff fairly quickly discovered that many people spoke only their own language and this included the ticket inspector on the train. He punched Jeff’s ticket, then chatted cordially for a bit, making several expansive gestures. Not wanting to look stupid, Jeff simply nodded from time to time to show him that he was interested.

When he had gone, a pretty American tourist, also on the train, leaned towards Jeff.  Initially, he thought his luck was in, but she just and politely asked if he spoke French.

Jeff blushed, “No,” he admitted.

“Ah, that explains it,” the American answered.

Not wanting to miss his opportunity with a pretty lass when she was a relatively captive audience, Jeff continued the conversation.  “Explains what?” he asked.

“Oh!” she replied, “It explains why didn’t bat an eyelid when he told you that you were on the wrong train.”

Our next meeting will be on Tuesday 13^th December, at the Horse and Jockey pub in Stanford-in-the-Vale.  As usual, we will be playing shorter games from 7.30pm as people arrive, until 8pm when we will start something a little longer.

This week the “Feature Game” will be Marrakech, which is a strange, yet very simple little area control game where players take the role of a salesperson who tries to outwit the others by placing pieces of carpet.

– Image used with permission of BGG contributor Ceryon

And speaking of carpets…

Jeff was engaged as a door-to-door vacuum cleaner salesman.  One day, he managed to bully his way into a woman’s home in a rural area.

“This machine is the best ever,” he exclaimed, whilst pouring a bag of dirt over the lounge floor. The woman said she was really worried it may not all come off, so Jeff added, “If this machine doesn’t remove all the dust completely, I’ll lick it off myself.”

“Would you like ketchup on it?” she asked.  “We don’t have electricity out here…”

Our next meeting will be on Tuesday 29^th Movember, at the Horse and Jockey pub in Stanford-in-the-Vale.  As usual, we will be playing shorter games from 7.30pm as people arrive, until 8pm when we will start something a little longer.

This week the “Feature Game” will be The Climbers, which is an interesting and unusual 3D strategy game that looks like it is designed round a set of children’s building blocks.  With a couple of ladders and a blocking stone, it is the player who’s Meeple climbs the highest that wins.

– Image by boardGOATS

And speaking of climbers…

A little old lady, who lived on the third floor of a boardinghouse, broke her leg.  As the doctor put a cast on it, he warned her not to climb any stairs.  Two months later, the doctor took off the cast.

“Can I climb stairs now?” asked the little old lady.

“Yes, of course” he replied, “But don’t overdo it…”.

“Oh thank goodness!” she said. “I’m sick and tired of shinnying up and down that drainpipe!”

Our next meeting will be on Tuesday 15^th Movember, at the Horse and Jockey pub in Stanford-in-the-Vale.  As usual, we will be playing shorter games from 7.30pm as people arrive, until 8pm when we will start something a little longer.

This week the “Feature Game” will be Key to the City – London, which is a streamlined version of one of our favourite games, Keyflower.  Released at Essen and themed around the City of London, each tile features an iconic landmark, and players “buy” these tiles and add them to their boroughs.  The game uses many of the same mechanisms as Keyflower, with an additional connection element that simplifies and enhances the spacial component of the game.

– Image by boardGOATS

And speaking of London…

Jeff and Joe had gone to London looking for work. were strolling down Bond Street.  After walking for a few minutes, Jeff turned to Joe with a look of amazement on his face.  “Joe!  Look at that shop over there – I thought that London was supposed to be expensive, but that shop is as cheap as chips!”

Joe replied, “Wow – suits £10, shirts £4, trousers £5.  I think that we should buy the lot and take them back with us – we would make a tidy profit selling them in Oxford.”

So the two visitors went into the shop, where Jeff was greeted politely by the owner. Jeff, doing his best to sound local, said, “I’ll ‘ave twenty of yer ‘Whistles’, twenty ‘Uncle Berts’ and twenty pairs o’ ‘Callards’ please.”

Upon hearing this request, the owner smiled, and said, “You’re not from round here, are you?”

Quite bemused, Jeff responded, “No, how can you tell?”

The Owner replied, “This is a Dry Cleaners.”