Following the success of last year’s New Year party, we have decided that our next meeting will be on Wednesday 31^st December.  As it is New Year’s Eve we will be starting early and we will be meeting in a private house in Stanford with food later.  Please get in touch if you would like to come along so we know how much food to make.

The plan is to start off early with the “Feature Game”, which, As has become traditional, will be the gorgeous, dexterity car-racing game, PitchCar.  We will be eating later and maybe set off some fireworks at midnight, depending on how cold it is!

And talking of cars…

A policeman sees an elderly woman driving incredibly slowly on the motorway, so he pulls along side and notices her knitting in the driver’s seat.  She remains focussed on the road and keeps knitting and driving.

He beeps his horn to get her attention, but she is oblivious and carries on.

Getting more frustrated, the policeman turns his siren on and, as she finally notices him, he signals for her to wind the window down.

After a time she finds the button and down goes the window.

Incensed, the cop yells, “PULL OVER!”

“Oh, no sweetie,” she replies.  “It’s a scarf, see?”

Our next meeting will be on Tuesday 2^nd December, at the Horse and Jockey pub in Stanford-in-the-Vale.  As usual, we will be playing shorter games from 7.30pm as people arrive, until 8pm when we will start something a little longer.

This week the “Feature Game” will be Grog Island, which is a game we brought back from Essen.  The idea is that even the mightiest pirates must give up their lives of invading and plunder eventually, but then, what do they do for their retirement?  Well, on the five peninsulas of Grog Island, they can invest their loot in rock-solid businesses, such as peg-leg shops, carpentries for figureheads, workshops for voodoo dolls, or the infamous “Grog Hole” pub.  The core of Grog Island is its unique auction mechanism, which uses five coloured dice.  The players use these dice and the pips on them to create and raise bids.

And talking of the pirates…

A pirate went into a pub, but as he entered, the Landlord couldn’t help noticing that he was walking funny.  As the pirate staggered over, the Landlord became transfixed as he realised that the pirate had a ships steering-wheel down his trousers.

“Gissa pint o’ rum,” replied the pirate to the Landlord’s query.  The drink was duly poured and the pirate supped greedily, before asking for another.

By this time, the Landlord had gathered together his courage, and asked, “Excuse me sir, but did you know that you, well, you’ve got a ships steering-wheel down your trousers?”

The pirate looked cross and replied, “Arrrr, it’s driving me nuts!”

Our next meeting will be on Tuesday 18^th Movember, at the Horse and Jockey pub in Stanford-in-the-Vale.  As usual, we will be playing shorter games from 7.30pm as people arrive, until 8pm when we will start something a little longer.

This week the “Feature Game” will be Caverna:  The Cave Farmers.  This is a longer game that is closely related to a game we’ve played quite a bit called Agricola.  In Agricola, players start with two people and a hut and have to build their small-holding with points awarded at the end of the game for the most balanced farm.  Caverna has a new skin, but similar theme:  players start with two dwarves and are trying to develop their cavern in the hillside while chopping down the forest for use as pasture.  There are a lot of small differences that make the game a bit more streamlined, so it will be interesting to see which game people prefer.

And talking of the dwarves…

It was a wet and miserable evening when Jeff reversed into another car at the supermarket.

A dwarf got out of the other vehicle looking cross and said, “I am not happy…!”

Our next meeting will be on Tuesday 4^th Movember, at the Horse and Jockey pub in Stanford-in-the-Vale.  As usual, we will be playing shorter games from 7.30pm as people arrive, until 8pm when we will start something a little longer.

This week the “Feature Game” will be Secret Moon.  This is a small quick card game that is the sequel to one of our most played games, Love Letter, and tells the story about what happens when the Princess receives her message and goes out to meet her young man by the light of the Secret Moon.  This game has a lot in common with Werewolf, in that there are two teams: those on the side of the Princess, and those on the side of the Minister, but while everyone knows which side they are on, they don’t know who else is on the same side.

And talking of the Moon…

It was a couple of days after Neil Armstrong had landed on the moon and Jeff was chatting about it with his brother, Joe.

“Joe, do you think they’ll put a man on the sun next?” Jeff asked.

“Of course not,” replied Joe, “If you send a man to the Sun, he will burn up with the heat and stuff.”

Jeff sat and thought about it for a moment and then said, “Don’t be silly, they’d send him at night…!”

Our next meeting will be on Thursday 23^rd October and will be held in a private house in Stanford.  Please get in touch if you would like to come along and need directions.  As usual, we will be playing shorter games from 7.30pm as people arrive, until 8pm when we will start something a little longer.

This will be a special meeting because we had to cancel Tuesday (because the pub was holding a Chinese Night) and everyone who went to the Spieltage in Essen can’t wait to show off their new toys!  For this reason, the “Feature Game” will be “something brought back from Germany”.

And talking of Germany…

Jeff was dealing with his late German Grandfather’s effects.  He had been clearing the cupboard and had decided to give all his Grandfather’s old clothes to the local charity shop.  He handed over the bag of clothes to the shop assistant who was rummaging through it when a horrified expression formed on her face.

“How dare you bring this uniform in to my shop!” she exclaimed angrily. “This is a symbol of pain, shame and humiliation.”

Hugely embarrassed at this turn of events, Jeff quickly took back the bag.

“I’m truly sorry,” he stammered, “I had no idea my Grandfather was an Arsenal fan…!”

Our usual meeting place, the Horse and Jockey pub in Stanford-in-the-Vale, is hosting a Chinese Night, so unfortunately, there won’t be space for us to play games.  Additionally, our alternative meeting place is unavailable on Tuesday that week, so sadly, we will have to put off playing with our Essen purchases until November.  In the meantime, we can always sample the Chinese food at the Jocky…

Our next meeting will be on Tuesday 7^th October, at the Horse and Jockey pub in Stanford-in-the-Vale.  As usual, we will be playing shorter games from 7.30pm as people arrive, until 8pm when we will start something a little longer.

This week the “Feature Game” will be Love Letter.  This is a very small card game that we used to get out a lot, but seem to have got out of the habit of playing even though we still bring it.  Although it only consists of sixteen cards and it is surprisingly entertaining.  We have picked it this week because it is quick to play and will fill time nicely until everyone has arrived.

And talking of Love…

Jeff was spending the day out walking with his new puppy dog.  Now, Jeff being Jeff, he’d brought a couple of cans of lager with him to have with his lunch, so an hour later the inevitable happened and he desperately needed to relieve himself.  He was unsure what to do, since he needed both hands, but also didn’t want to let go of the dog lead.  He decided to stand on the lead, but unfortunately, the young dog was startled and bolted as soon as Jeff began.

Jeff hinted high and low looking for the puppy, calling and calling.  As night fell, so did the rain and Jeff suddenly realised that he was very lost and would need somewhere to shelter for the night.  In the dusk, he happened upon a caravan which was unlocked, so he went in to rest on the bed.  As he lay there he suddenly heard the noise of a key in the lock and in a panic he hid under the bed.

He was just quick enough to hide himself so that the young couple returning from an evening out were completely oblivious to his presence.  So much so that, fortified from the bottle of wine they’d had with their romantic meal, they did what all young couples do in such circumstances and began to make love on the bed.

Breathing heavily, and caressing her hair, the young man complimented the girl, “In your eyes,” he said, “I can see the whole world.”

On hearing this the Jeff jumped out from under the bed and said, “If you can see the whole world, can you see where my puppy is?!?!”

Our next meeting will be on Tuesday 23^rd September, at the Horse and Jockey pub in Stanford-in-the-Vale.  As usual, we will be playing shorter games from 7.30pm as people arrive, until 8pm when we will start something a little longer.

This week the “Feature Game” will be Stimmt So!.  This is a game about investing buying shares in Aunt Emma’s various companies using different currencies.  It is closely related to Alhambra, a game we’ve played quite a bit, and uses similar mechanisms.

And talking of investors…

Jeff’s brother, Joe was an investment banker.  One day, Joe was at the pier of a small coastal Greek village when a small boat with just one fisherman docked. Inside the small boat were several large yellow fin tuna.

Joe complimented the Greek on the quality of his fish and asked, “How long does it take to catch them?”  The Greek replied, “Only a little while.”

Joe then asked why didn’t he stay out longer and catch more fish? The Greek explained that he had enough to support his family’s immediate needs. Joe then asked, “But what do you do with the rest of your time?”

The Greek fisherman said, “I sleep late, fish a little, play with my children, take siesta with my wife, Maria, stroll into the village each evening where I sip wine and play cards with my friends, I have a full and busy life.”

Joe scoffed, “I am a Harvard graduate and could help you. You should spend more time fishing and with the proceeds, buy a bigger boat with the proceeds from the bigger boat you could buy several boats, eventually you would have a fleet of fishing boats.  Instead of selling your catch to a middleman you would sell directly to the processor, eventually opening your own cannery. You would control the product, processing and distribution.  You would need to leave this small coastal fishing village and move to Athens, then London and eventually New York where you will run your expanding enterprise.”

The Greek fisherman asked, “But, how long will this all take?”

Joe responded, “Probably 15-25 years.”

“But what then?”

Joe laughed and said, “That’s the best part. When the time is right you would announce an IPO and sell your company stock to the public and become very rich – you would make millions.”

“Millions… Hmmm…  but then what?” the young Greek asked.

Joe continued, “Then you would retire, move to a small coastal fishing village where you would sleep late, fish a little, play with your kids, take siesta with your wife, stroll to the village in the evenings where you could sip wine and play cards with your friends…”