Next Meeting – 28th July 2015

Our next meeting will be on Tuesday 28th July, at the Horse and Jockey pub in Stanford-in-the-Vale.  As usual, we will be playing shorter games from 7.30pm as people arrive, until 8pm when we will start something a little longer.

This week the “Feature Game” will be Last Will, which is basically the boardgame equivalent of the film “Brewster’s Millions”;  the idea is that in his last will, a rich gentleman stated that all of his millions would go to the nephew who could enjoy money the most.  In order to find out who that would be, each player starts with a large amount of money and whoever spends it first is the rightful heir, and winner.

Last Will
– Image by BGG contributor cnidius

And speaking of wills…

Jeff’s latest girlfriend, Jill, was a trainee lawyer specialising in wills and probate.  One day, an elderly reclusive gentleman called the office and asked the receptionist about having a will prepared.  In the usual way, the receptionist suggested they made an appointment at a convenient time for the gentleman to come into the office.

The elderly gent replied, “You must understand, I’ve lived alone all my life, I rarely see anyone, and I don’t like to go out. Would it be possible for the lawyer to come to my house?”

The receptionist checked with Jill who agreed and she went to the gentleman’s home for the meeting to discuss her estate and the will.  Jill’s first question was, “Would you please tell me what you have in assets and how you’d like them to be distributed in the event of your passing?”

The elderly gentleman answered, “Besides the furniture and accessories you see here, I have £400,000 in savings.”

“OK,” said Jill, “So how would you like the £400,000 to be distributed?”

The gentleman replied, “Well, as I’ve told you, I’ve lived a reclusive life, people have hardly ever noticed me, so I’d like them to notice when I leave. I’d like to provide £350,000 for my funeral.”

Jill remarked, “Well, for £350,000 you will be able to have a funeral that will certainly be noticed and will leave a lasting impression on anyone who may not have taken much note of you!”  She continued, “But tell me, what would you like to do with the remaining £50,000?”

The gentleman hesitated and eventually answered, “As you know, I’ve never married, I’ve lived alone almost my entire life, and in fact I’ve never slept with a woman.  Before I die, I’d like you to use the £50,000 to arrange for a woman to sleep with me.”  Jill was aghast, but there was something about the man that indicated he was in earnest.

“This is a very unusual request,” Jill said thinking quickly, “But I’ll see what I can do to arrange it and get back to you.”

That evening, Jill was at telling her boyfriend, Jeff, about the eccentric recluse and his weird request.  After thinking about how much he could do with £50,000, Jeff persuaded Jill to agree to provide the service herself.

Jeff said, “For safety, I’ll drive you over tomorrow morning, and wait in the car until you’re finished.”  The next morning, he duly drove Jill to the recluse’s house and waited while she went inside.  He waited for over an hour, but Jill didn’t come out, so he tooted the car horn.

After a moment or two, the upstairs bedroom window opened, Jill stuck her head out and yelled, “Pick me up tomorrow – he’s going to let the state bury him!”