Our next meeting will be on Tuesday, 7^th August, at the Horse and Jockey pub in Stanford-in-the-Vale.  As usual, we will be playing shorter games from 7.30pm as people arrive, until 8pm when we will start something a little longer.

This week the “Feature Game” will be Altiplano, a bag building game that re-implements some of the mechanisms found in Orléans.  Players must build an effective production engine as well as deliver the right goods at the right time and store goods cleverly enough to fill the most valuable areas of their warehouse, all the while being scrutinised by a large cardboard alpaca…

– Image used with permission of boardgamephotos

And talking of alpacas…

Jeff was visiting his South American cousin, José, who farmed alpacas up on the high planes in the Andes.  Alpacas are quite substantial beasts and very nosy, so were very interested in this newcomer from Europe.  Jeff, on the other hand, was a more than a little intimidated by the large shaggy creatures.  José was very understanding though, and explained that they were really very friendly adding, “There’s really no cause for a llama…”

Our next meeting will be on Tuesday, 24^th July, at the Horse and Jockey pub in Stanford-in-the-Vale.  As usual, we will be playing shorter games from 7.30pm as people arrive, until 8pm when we will start something a little longer.

This week the “Feature Game” will be Azul, an abstract game, with a very, very loose theme where players are tile laying artists decorating a wall in the Palace of Evora with “azulejos”.  We have chosen this game to celebrate the fact that it has just received the coveted Spiel des Jahres award.

– Image used with permission of boardgamephotos

And talking of Palaces…

Jeff was visiting Buckingham Palace.  After a tour of the house and grounds, the visit finished at the Royal Stables.  As he wandered around he saw an elderly lady in a head-scarf and realised he was in royal company.  He was standing quietly admiring a magnificent stallion when suddenly it passed wind so loudly it couldn’t be ignored.

“Oh dear,” said the Queen, “How embarrassing. I’m frightfully sorry about that.”

“It’s quite understandable,” replied Jeff, and after a moment, added, “As a matter of fact I thought it was the horse…”

Our next meeting will be on Tuesday, 10^th July, at the Horse and Jockey pub in Stanford-in-the-Vale.  As usual, we will be playing shorter games from 7.30pm as people arrive, until 8pm when we will start something a little longer.

This week the “Feature Game” will be Keyflower, which is a tile laying game with an unusual auction mechanic implemented using meeples. We’ve chosen Keyflower because it is one of our favourite games, and one particular member keeps asking to play it and then misses out.

– Image by boardGOATS

And talking of auctions…

Jeff went to an auction and bought a Stradivarius and a Rembrandt.  He was very happy with them since the price he paid was remarkably low, and even he had heard the names.  Although he knew they were valuable, Jeff had no idea how much they were actually worth, so he decided ask a valuer to put a number on his windfall.

In response to his query, the valuer explained, “Well sir, this is indeed a Stradivarius and that is a Rembrandt, but it’s a great pity that Stradivarius couldn’t paint and Rembrandt couldn’t build violins…”

Our next meeting will be on Tuesday, 10^th May, at the Horse and Jockey pub in Stanford-in-the-Vale.  As usual, we will be playing shorter games from 7.30pm as people arrive, until 8pm when we will start something a little longer.

This week the “Feature Game” will be Keyflower, which is a tile laying game with an unusual auction mechanic implemented using meeples. We’ve chosen Keyflower because it is one of our favourite games, and one particular member keeps asking to play it and then misses out.

– Image by boardGOATS

And talking of auctions…

Jeff went to an auction and bought a Stradivarius and a Rembrandt.  He was very happy with them since the price he paid was remarkably low, and even he had heard the names.  Although he knew they were valuable, Jeff had no idea how much they were actually worth, so he decided ask a valuer to put a number on his windfall.

In response to his query, the valuer explained, “Well sir, this is indeed a Stradivarius and that is a Rembrandt, but it’s a great pity that Stradivarius couldn’t paint and Rembrandt couldn’t build violins…”

Our next meeting will be on Tuesday, 26^th June, at the Horse and Jockey pub in Stanford-in-the-Vale.  As usual, we will be playing shorter games from 7.30pm as people arrive, until 8pm when we will start something a little longer.

This week, the “Feature Game” will be Concordia: Aegyptus / Creta, the latest expansion for Concordia, a strategy game of economic development in Roman times.  We’ve played Concordia a few times on Tuesdays, and Fridays at the Didcot Games Club; we’ve played both the base game and with the Salsa expansion, and it has always been enjoyed.

– Image used with permission of boardgamephotos

And speaking of Romans…

Like Jeff, all his descendants fancied their chances at getting rich.  One in particular, Jefficus Stultus, had thought that being a gladiator was a good way of achieving his dreams.  He did alright on his first visit to the arena, but his second bout was less successful.  First his opponent sliced off both of his arms; Jefficus never wanted for courage, however, and fought on, kicking and biting as furiously as he could. When Jefficus’ opponent lopped off both his feet though, the brave gladiator had no choice but to give up.

He was now both unarmed and defeated…

Our next meeting will be on Tuesday, 12^th June, at the Horse and Jockey pub in Stanford-in-the-Vale.  As usual, we will be playing shorter games from 7.30pm as people arrive, until 8pm when we will start something a little longer.

This week, the “Feature Game” will be Echidna Shuffle a great little pickup and deliver game with wonderfully tactile, large plastic pieces and a great little dice balancing mechanism.  This game was a surprise hit at UK Games Expo and sold out on the first day.

– Image from kickstarter.com

And speaking of deliveries…

One Monday morning Jeff the postman was riding through the neighbourhood on his usual route, delivering the post.  As he approached one of the homes he noticed that both cars were still in the driveway.  As he was wondering, a friend of his, the home owner, David, came out with a load of empty beer, wine and spirit bottles for the recycling bin.

“Wow, looks like you guys had one hell of a party last night,” Jeff commented.

David, in obvious pain, replied, “Actually the party was Saturday night. This is the first time I have felt like moving since 4am Sunday morning.  We had about fifteen couples from around the neighbourhood and it got a bit wild. We all got so drunk that around midnight we started playing “Who Am I?”. ”

Jeff thought for a moment and then asked, “How do you play “Who am I?” ?”

“Well,” replied the home owner, “All the guys go in the bedroom and come out one at a time covered with a sheet with only the “family jewels” showing through a hole in the sheet. Then the women try to guess who it is…”

The postman laughed and said, “Sounds like you had a great time, I’m sorry I missed it.”

“Probably a good thing you did,” David responded, “Your name came up seven times…”

Our next meeting will be on Tuesday, 29^th May, at the Horse and Jockey pub in Stanford-in-the-Vale.  As usual, we will be playing shorter games from 7.30pm as people arrive, until 8pm when we will start something a little longer.

This week, the “Feature Game” will be Taluva with the Extension, a tile laying and area control game where players attempt to successfully settle a South Sea island slowly emerging from the ocean waters as volcano after volcano erupts.  Players take it in turns to first place a tile, and then place a hut, temple, tower or sailing boat.  Winning is unusual as it is the player who’s placed most temples wins with ties broken by towers, then boats, then huts.

– Image used with permission of BGG contributor punkin312

And speaking of volcanoes…

Most volcanoes, like mountains, get their names from the surname of the first person who reaches the top of them. One exception is Iceland’s infamous Eyjafjallajokull, which got its name from the last words uttered by the first person to fall into it…

Our next meeting will be on Tuesday, 15^th May, at the Horse and Jockey pub in Stanford-in-the-Vale.  As usual, we will be playing shorter games from 7.30pm as people arrive, until 8pm when we will start something a little longer.

This week, the “Feature Game” will be Caverna: The Cave Farmers, a worker placement game that reimplements the game Agricola.  Players take on the role of the bearded leader of a small dwarf family that lives in a little cave in the mountains. Everyone begins the game with a farmer and his spouse, and each member of the farming family represents an action that the player can take each turn. The families cultivate the forest in front of their cave and dig deeper into the mountain, furnishing the caves as dwellings, as well as working spaces for small enterprises.

– Image by BGG contributor saksi

And speaking of dwarves…

Jeff was walking through town late one evening when he bumped into a dwarf.  He didn’t see the diminutive chap, and stepped very heavily on his foot and snagged his belt buckle in his beard and knocked off his hat.

The dwarf hopped up and down cursing under his breath and, after extricating himself and picking up his hat, eventually yelled, “I really ain’t happy!”

Jeff replied, “Oh,” he said, “So which dwarf are you then?”

Our next meeting will be on Tuesday, 1^st May, at the Horse and Jockey pub in Stanford-in-the-Vale.  As usual, we will be playing shorter games from 7.30pm as people arrive, until 8pm when we will start something a little longer.

This week, the “Feature Game” will be Lords of Xidit, a simultaneous programming game with a very unusual scoring mechanism.  The game is set in the fantasy land of Xidit which is under attack.  The last remaining hope for restoring peace lies with the Kingdom’s noble heirs, the Idrakys, who must travel the Kingdom recruiting brave soldiers and restoring the threatened cities.

– Image used with permission of BGG contributor punkin312

And speaking of heirs…

Jeff’s father was ill, very ill and had been given only weeks to live.  He was very wealthy however, and Jeff was due to inherit a fortune when his sickly, widower father passed on.

One day, Jeff was sitting in a café when in walked a woman whose beauty took his breath away.

“I’m only an ordinary man,” Jeff said, walking up to her, “But in just a few weeks, my father will die and I’ll inherit twenty million dollars.  I could really do with a gorgeous woman like you to enjoy it with.”

The beautiful lady fluttered her eye-lashes at Jeff, and, after he’d bought her a couple of drinks, went home with him.

A couple of days later, she became Jeff’s stepmother.

Our next meeting will be on Tuesday 17^th April, at the Horse and Jockey pub in Stanford-in-the-Vale.  As usual, we will be playing shorter games from 7.30pm as people arrive, until 8pm when we will start something a little longer.

This week the “Feature Game” will be Mini Park.  This is a very quick, light tile-laying game from Taiwan that was popular at Essen last year.  Players take on the role of architects designing a new park, taking it in turns to either place a tile or add a character.

– Image by used with permission of boardgamephotos

And speaking of architects…

An architect named Jeff and an Engineer named Joe, went on a camping trip together.  It had been a long day and both of them were tired so they pitched their tent, and went to sleep.

Some hours later, Joe woke his mate and said, “It is a beautiful night, Jeff, look up at the sky and tell me what you see.”

Jeff replied, “I see millions of stars.”

Joe asked, “What does that tell you?”

The young architect thought for a moment and then said, “Astronomically speaking, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically speaking, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo. Time wise, it appears to be approximately a quarter past three. Theologically, it’s evident the Lord is all-powerful and we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, it seems we will have a beautiful day tomorrow.”  Then he paused before he continued, “Why, what does it tell you?”

His engineer friend was silent for a moment, and then said, “Practically speaking, it seems someone has stolen our tent…”