Our next meeting will be on Tuesday, 12^th June, at the Horse and Jockey pub in Stanford-in-the-Vale.  As usual, we will be playing shorter games from 7.30pm as people arrive, until 8pm when we will start something a little longer.

This week, the “Feature Game” will be Echidna Shuffle a great little pickup and deliver game with wonderfully tactile, large plastic pieces and a great little dice balancing mechanism.  This game was a surprise hit at UK Games Expo and sold out on the first day.

– Image from kickstarter.com

And speaking of deliveries…

One Monday morning Jeff the postman was riding through the neighbourhood on his usual route, delivering the post.  As he approached one of the homes he noticed that both cars were still in the driveway.  As he was wondering, a friend of his, the home owner, David, came out with a load of empty beer, wine and spirit bottles for the recycling bin.

“Wow, looks like you guys had one hell of a party last night,” Jeff commented.

David, in obvious pain, replied, “Actually the party was Saturday night. This is the first time I have felt like moving since 4am Sunday morning.  We had about fifteen couples from around the neighbourhood and it got a bit wild. We all got so drunk that around midnight we started playing “Who Am I?”. ”

Jeff thought for a moment and then asked, “How do you play “Who am I?” ?”

“Well,” replied the home owner, “All the guys go in the bedroom and come out one at a time covered with a sheet with only the “family jewels” showing through a hole in the sheet. Then the women try to guess who it is…”

The postman laughed and said, “Sounds like you had a great time, I’m sorry I missed it.”

“Probably a good thing you did,” David responded, “Your name came up seven times…”

Our next meeting will be on Tuesday, 29^th May, at the Horse and Jockey pub in Stanford-in-the-Vale.  As usual, we will be playing shorter games from 7.30pm as people arrive, until 8pm when we will start something a little longer.

This week, the “Feature Game” will be Taluva with the Extension, a tile laying and area control game where players attempt to successfully settle a South Sea island slowly emerging from the ocean waters as volcano after volcano erupts.  Players take it in turns to first place a tile, and then place a hut, temple, tower or sailing boat.  Winning is unusual as it is the player who’s placed most temples wins with ties broken by towers, then boats, then huts.

– Image used with permission of BGG contributor punkin312

And speaking of volcanoes…

Most volcanoes, like mountains, get their names from the surname of the first person who reaches the top of them. One exception is Iceland’s infamous Eyjafjallajokull, which got its name from the last words uttered by the first person to fall into it…

Our next meeting will be on Tuesday, 15^th May, at the Horse and Jockey pub in Stanford-in-the-Vale.  As usual, we will be playing shorter games from 7.30pm as people arrive, until 8pm when we will start something a little longer.

This week, the “Feature Game” will be Caverna: The Cave Farmers, a worker placement game that reimplements the game Agricola.  Players take on the role of the bearded leader of a small dwarf family that lives in a little cave in the mountains. Everyone begins the game with a farmer and his spouse, and each member of the farming family represents an action that the player can take each turn. The families cultivate the forest in front of their cave and dig deeper into the mountain, furnishing the caves as dwellings, as well as working spaces for small enterprises.

– Image by BGG contributor saksi

And speaking of dwarves…

Jeff was walking through town late one evening when he bumped into a dwarf.  He didn’t see the diminutive chap, and stepped very heavily on his foot and snagged his belt buckle in his beard and knocked off his hat.

The dwarf hopped up and down cursing under his breath and, after extricating himself and picking up his hat, eventually yelled, “I really ain’t happy!”

Jeff replied, “Oh,” he said, “So which dwarf are you then?”

Our next meeting will be on Tuesday, 1^st May, at the Horse and Jockey pub in Stanford-in-the-Vale.  As usual, we will be playing shorter games from 7.30pm as people arrive, until 8pm when we will start something a little longer.

This week, the “Feature Game” will be Lords of Xidit, a simultaneous programming game with a very unusual scoring mechanism.  The game is set in the fantasy land of Xidit which is under attack.  The last remaining hope for restoring peace lies with the Kingdom’s noble heirs, the Idrakys, who must travel the Kingdom recruiting brave soldiers and restoring the threatened cities.

– Image used with permission of BGG contributor punkin312

And speaking of heirs…

Jeff’s father was ill, very ill and had been given only weeks to live.  He was very wealthy however, and Jeff was due to inherit a fortune when his sickly, widower father passed on.

One day, Jeff was sitting in a café when in walked a woman whose beauty took his breath away.

“I’m only an ordinary man,” Jeff said, walking up to her, “But in just a few weeks, my father will die and I’ll inherit twenty million dollars.  I could really do with a gorgeous woman like you to enjoy it with.”

The beautiful lady fluttered her eye-lashes at Jeff, and, after he’d bought her a couple of drinks, went home with him.

A couple of days later, she became Jeff’s stepmother.

Our next meeting will be on Tuesday 17^th April, at the Horse and Jockey pub in Stanford-in-the-Vale.  As usual, we will be playing shorter games from 7.30pm as people arrive, until 8pm when we will start something a little longer.

This week the “Feature Game” will be Mini Park.  This is a very quick, light tile-laying game from Taiwan that was popular at Essen last year.  Players take on the role of architects designing a new park, taking it in turns to either place a tile or add a character.

– Image by used with permission of boardgamephotos

And speaking of architects…

An architect named Jeff and an Engineer named Joe, went on a camping trip together.  It had been a long day and both of them were tired so they pitched their tent, and went to sleep.

Some hours later, Joe woke his mate and said, “It is a beautiful night, Jeff, look up at the sky and tell me what you see.”

Jeff replied, “I see millions of stars.”

Joe asked, “What does that tell you?”

The young architect thought for a moment and then said, “Astronomically speaking, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically speaking, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo. Time wise, it appears to be approximately a quarter past three. Theologically, it’s evident the Lord is all-powerful and we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, it seems we will have a beautiful day tomorrow.”  Then he paused before he continued, “Why, what does it tell you?”

His engineer friend was silent for a moment, and then said, “Practically speaking, it seems someone has stolen our tent…”

Our next meeting will be on Tuesday 3^rd April, at the Horse and Jockey pub in Stanford-in-the-Vale.  As usual, we will be playing shorter games from 7.30pm as people arrive, until 8pm when we will start something a little longer.

This week the “Feature Game” will be Fabled Fruit.  This is a very light, but innovative little card game with elements of worker placement and set collection.  The interesting part of the game is the “Legacy” element where new cards are introduced during the game and the end state becomes the starting state for the next game.  These keep the game fresh and interesting as the game changes as it is played.  For this reason, we plan to play this a few times so that everyone gets a chance to see how the game evolves.

– Image by BGG contributor Hasematzel

And speaking of fruit…

Jeff and his two friends got captured by native Americans who wanted to kill them, but the Europeans begged to have their lives spared. After some discussion, the natives agreed to not kill them on one condition: the Europeans must go into the forest and bring back a fruit and they would be informed what to do with it on their return.

So the first of Jeff’s friends came back with a peach. On his return, the native said “Shove it up your bottom, if you laugh we kill you.”

So, he shoved the peach where the sun wouldn’t shine and, as he did so, he couldn’t help laughing, so the natives killed him.

The second of Jeff’s friends came back with a grape. On his return, the native told him the same thing. Jeff’s friend couldn’t help himself and laughed so again, the natives killed him.

Jeff’s two friends met at the pearly gates and Jeff’s first friend said to the second, “I had a peach and peaches are furry, so that’s why I laughed, but you had a grape, what went wrong?”

The second friend replied, “Oh, well, I was doing just fine until I saw Jeff coming back with a pineapple!”

Our next meeting will be on Tuesday 20^th March, at the Horse and Jockey pub in Stanford-in-the-Vale.  As usual, we will be playing shorter games from 7.30pm as people arrive, until 8pm when we will start something a little longer.

This week the “Feature Game” will be Boomtown.  Although we’ve played this before, it was a very long time ago and we thought we’d give it another outing.  The game is set in the Wild West, where players are prospectors bidding for mining concessions.  It is a fairly quick game, which should give us plenty of time decide what longer games we would like to play once everyone has arrived.

– Image by boardGOATS

And talking of the Wild West…

The swing doors of the Wild West saloon crashed open and in came Jeff, black with fury.  “All right!” he raged, “All right! Who did it? What darned varmint painted my horse bright blue?”

The huge figure of Black Jake, a notorious gunfighter and town baddie rose from a chair by the door. “It was me, shrimp,” he drawled, bunching his gigantic fists, “What about it?”

“Oh, well, er,” stammered Jeff wretchedly, “All I wanted to say was… er… when are you going to give it another coat please?”

Our next meeting will be on Tuesday 6^th March, at the Horse and Jockey pub in Stanford-in-the-Vale.  As usual, we will be playing shorter games from 7.30pm as people arrive, until 8pm when we will start something a little longer.

This week the “Feature Game” will be Plague & Pestilence.  This is a slightly older card game with a nasty cut-throat edge.  We picked it because it is Purple’s birthday and it is one of her favourite games (or at least we think it is!).

– Image by boardGOATS

And speaking of the plague…

Jeff had been ill for a couple of days, so, convinced he was dying he went to the doctor.  The doctor ran a whole battery of tests and then him down and said, “I’m afraid you have bubonic plague.”

Jeff was shocked, but after a moment or two, he hopefully asked, “Doctor, can you do something?”

The doctor answered, “Well, you’ll have to stay in the hospital… and we’ll put you on a special diet of flounder, pizza, and pancakes.”

Jeff thought that didn’t sound so awful, but he was curious, “How is that diet going to cure me?”

The doctor replied, “Well, it isn’t, but those are the only foods we can slide under the door!”

Our next meeting will be on Tuesday, 20^th February, at the Horse and Jockey pub in Stanford-in-the-Vale.  As usual, we will be playing shorter games from 7.30pm as people arrive, until 8pm when we will start something a little longer.

This week, the “Feature Game” will be Marshal & Prisoners, the second expansion to the gorgeous train robbing game, Colt Express.  The expansion adds extra characters and a prison wagon complete with prisoners and a marshal to guard them.  Players who succeed in freeing prisoners can use their special powers as well as their own in the race to be the richest bandit in the West!

– Image used with permission of boardgamephotos

And speaking of prisoners…

Jeff had been caught dealing drugs and was serving his sentence in the Scrubs.  One day, his father, an elderly farmer, came to visit, with some bad news.  His father explained the farm was in difficulty.

“Son, the ground is frozen and is much too hard for me to dig myself at my age.  I can’t afford extra men or to hire machines though.  I don’t think we will be able to plant crops this year, which will means we will go bankrupt and lose the farm.”

Later, Jeff went back to his cell and wrote a short letter to his father.

Dear Dad,

Please be aware that a very good friend of mine will be visiting soon. There is a large quantity of stuff he is collecting. It is well hidden on the farm, but he will know exactly what to do.

Lots of Love,
Jeff.

Some weeks later Jeff’s father went to visit again.

“Well, son, your friend never showed up, but before I even got your letter the police came round, searched the whole house and dug up all the land around.  They didn’t find anything though…”

Jeff smiled, “Happy planting, Dad.”

Our next meeting will be on Tuesday, 6^th February, at the Horse and Jockey pub in Stanford-in-the-Vale.  As usual, we will be playing shorter games from 7.30pm as people arrive, until 8pm when we will start something a little longer.

This week, the “Feature Game” will be Ave Caesar, the quick playing, savage, Roman chariot racing game.  Players are required to race three laps of the track, and must stop to “Hail Caesar” before they can finish. The game is light, wasting too many moves taking the longer, outside-routes on corners, can leave players without enough moves to finish the race…

– Adapted from image by BGG contributor Narl

And speaking of Romans…

It had been a hard fought campaign, and on his return Julius Caesar felt it was necessary to addressing his people.  A crowd gathered in the Colosseum to hear what he had to say.

“Friends, Romans and countrymen. I have returned from my campaign in France where I killed fifty thousand Gauls!”

The crowd rose to its feet cheering, “Hail almighty Caesar!”

At this point a voice pipes up, “Caesar lies!”

There’s a stunned silence as everyone looks round to see who dares suggest such a thing.  After a pause, the voice continues, it is Brutus Jeffus who continues, “I’ve discovered Caesar only killed twenty-five thousand Gauls!”

The crowd are aghast, but Caesar replies, “That maybe true, but you must remember that away Gauls count double in Europe…”