Our next meeting will be on Tuesday 3^rd April, at the Horse and Jockey pub in Stanford-in-the-Vale.  As usual, we will be playing shorter games from 7.30pm as people arrive, until 8pm when we will start something a little longer.

This week the “Feature Game” will be Fabled Fruit.  This is a very light, but innovative little card game with elements of worker placement and set collection.  The interesting part of the game is the “Legacy” element where new cards are introduced during the game and the end state becomes the starting state for the next game.  These keep the game fresh and interesting as the game changes as it is played.  For this reason, we plan to play this a few times so that everyone gets a chance to see how the game evolves.

– Image by BGG contributor Hasematzel

And speaking of fruit…

Jeff and his two friends got captured by native Americans who wanted to kill them, but the Europeans begged to have their lives spared. After some discussion, the natives agreed to not kill them on one condition: the Europeans must go into the forest and bring back a fruit and they would be informed what to do with it on their return.

So the first of Jeff’s friends came back with a peach. On his return, the native said “Shove it up your bottom, if you laugh we kill you.”

So, he shoved the peach where the sun wouldn’t shine and, as he did so, he couldn’t help laughing, so the natives killed him.

The second of Jeff’s friends came back with a grape. On his return, the native told him the same thing. Jeff’s friend couldn’t help himself and laughed so again, the natives killed him.

Jeff’s two friends met at the pearly gates and Jeff’s first friend said to the second, “I had a peach and peaches are furry, so that’s why I laughed, but you had a grape, what went wrong?”

The second friend replied, “Oh, well, I was doing just fine until I saw Jeff coming back with a pineapple!”

Our next meeting will be on Tuesday 20^th March, at the Horse and Jockey pub in Stanford-in-the-Vale.  As usual, we will be playing shorter games from 7.30pm as people arrive, until 8pm when we will start something a little longer.

This week the “Feature Game” will be Boomtown.  Although we’ve played this before, it was a very long time ago and we thought we’d give it another outing.  The game is set in the Wild West, where players are prospectors bidding for mining concessions.  It is a fairly quick game, which should give us plenty of time decide what longer games we would like to play once everyone has arrived.

– Image by boardGOATS

And talking of the Wild West…

The swing doors of the Wild West saloon crashed open and in came Jeff, black with fury.  “All right!” he raged, “All right! Who did it? What darned varmint painted my horse bright blue?”

The huge figure of Black Jake, a notorious gunfighter and town baddie rose from a chair by the door. “It was me, shrimp,” he drawled, bunching his gigantic fists, “What about it?”

“Oh, well, er,” stammered Jeff wretchedly, “All I wanted to say was… er… when are you going to give it another coat please?”

Our next meeting will be on Tuesday 6^th March, at the Horse and Jockey pub in Stanford-in-the-Vale.  As usual, we will be playing shorter games from 7.30pm as people arrive, until 8pm when we will start something a little longer.

This week the “Feature Game” will be Plague & Pestilence.  This is a slightly older card game with a nasty cut-throat edge.  We picked it because it is Purple’s birthday and it is one of her favourite games (or at least we think it is!).

– Image by boardGOATS

And speaking of the plague…

Jeff had been ill for a couple of days, so, convinced he was dying he went to the doctor.  The doctor ran a whole battery of tests and then him down and said, “I’m afraid you have bubonic plague.”

Jeff was shocked, but after a moment or two, he hopefully asked, “Doctor, can you do something?”

The doctor answered, “Well, you’ll have to stay in the hospital… and we’ll put you on a special diet of flounder, pizza, and pancakes.”

Jeff thought that didn’t sound so awful, but he was curious, “How is that diet going to cure me?”

The doctor replied, “Well, it isn’t, but those are the only foods we can slide under the door!”

Our next meeting will be on Tuesday, 20^th February, at the Horse and Jockey pub in Stanford-in-the-Vale.  As usual, we will be playing shorter games from 7.30pm as people arrive, until 8pm when we will start something a little longer.

This week, the “Feature Game” will be Marshal & Prisoners, the second expansion to the gorgeous train robbing game, Colt Express.  The expansion adds extra characters and a prison wagon complete with prisoners and a marshal to guard them.  Players who succeed in freeing prisoners can use their special powers as well as their own in the race to be the richest bandit in the West!

– Image used with permission of boardgamephotos

And speaking of prisoners…

Jeff had been caught dealing drugs and was serving his sentence in the Scrubs.  One day, his father, an elderly farmer, came to visit, with some bad news.  His father explained the farm was in difficulty.

“Son, the ground is frozen and is much too hard for me to dig myself at my age.  I can’t afford extra men or to hire machines though.  I don’t think we will be able to plant crops this year, which will means we will go bankrupt and lose the farm.”

Later, Jeff went back to his cell and wrote a short letter to his father.

Dear Dad,

Please be aware that a very good friend of mine will be visiting soon. There is a large quantity of stuff he is collecting. It is well hidden on the farm, but he will know exactly what to do.

Lots of Love,
Jeff.

Some weeks later Jeff’s father went to visit again.

“Well, son, your friend never showed up, but before I even got your letter the police came round, searched the whole house and dug up all the land around.  They didn’t find anything though…”

Jeff smiled, “Happy planting, Dad.”

Our next meeting will be on Tuesday, 6^th February, at the Horse and Jockey pub in Stanford-in-the-Vale.  As usual, we will be playing shorter games from 7.30pm as people arrive, until 8pm when we will start something a little longer.

This week, the “Feature Game” will be Ave Caesar, the quick playing, savage, Roman chariot racing game.  Players are required to race three laps of the track, and must stop to “Hail Caesar” before they can finish. The game is light, wasting too many moves taking the longer, outside-routes on corners, can leave players without enough moves to finish the race…

– Adapted from image by BGG contributor Narl

And speaking of Romans…

It had been a hard fought campaign, and on his return Julius Caesar felt it was necessary to addressing his people.  A crowd gathered in the Colosseum to hear what he had to say.

“Friends, Romans and countrymen. I have returned from my campaign in France where I killed fifty thousand Gauls!”

The crowd rose to its feet cheering, “Hail almighty Caesar!”

At this point a voice pipes up, “Caesar lies!”

There’s a stunned silence as everyone looks round to see who dares suggest such a thing.  After a pause, the voice continues, it is Brutus Jeffus who continues, “I’ve discovered Caesar only killed twenty-five thousand Gauls!”

The crowd are aghast, but Caesar replies, “That maybe true, but you must remember that away Gauls count double in Europe…”

Our next meeting will be on Tuesday, 23^rd January, at the Horse and Jockey pub in Stanford-in-the-Vale.  As usual, we will be playing shorter games from 7.30pm as people arrive, until 8pm when we will start something a little longer.

This week, the “Feature Game” will be Cities of Splendor, the expansion to Splendor, a splendid game that we’ve played quite a lot.  Cities of Splendor consists of four modules to be used independently (Cities, Trading Posts, Orient and Strongholds).  The idea is that with multiple copies of the base game we can play more than one of the modules at the same time.

– Image used with permission of BGG contributor punkin312

And speaking of Cities…

Jeff was visiting London with his young son, Joe. They came from a very quiet village, so they were amazed by almost everything they saw. They were particularly fascinated by two shiny, silver walls that could move apart and back together again.

Joe asked his father, “What is that, Dad?”

Jeff replied, “I’ve no idea—I’ve have never seen anything like it in my life!”

While Jeff and Joe were watching wide-eyed, a very old lady in a wheelchair rolled up to the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls opened and the lady rolled between them into a small room. The walls closed and the boy and his father watched small circles of lights with numbers above the walls light up: 1…2…3…4…5…

As they watched, the circles began to light up in the reverse direction: 5…4…3…2…1…

After a moment’s pause, the walls opened up again and, Jeff’s and Joe’s eyes nearly popped out of their heads as a beautiful young woman stepped out.

There was a stunned silence, then Jeff whispered to his son, “Quick Joe, run and get your Mother…!”

Our next meeting will be on Tuesday, 9^th January, at the Horse and Jockey pub in Stanford-in-the-Vale.  As usual, we will be playing shorter games from 7.30pm as people arrive, until 8pm when we will start something a little longer.

This week, the “Feature Game” will be Scoville, an unusual game with auction, set collecting and “travelling salesman” elements.  Players are trying to breed and cross-breed wooden chillis to get different coloured peppers and fulfil contracts.

– Image used with permission of BGG contributor punkin312

And speaking of chili peppers…

Jeff was out shopping and couldn’t find what he was looking for, so he found one of the shop assistants and said, “Excuse me, I’m looking for pepper.”

“Of course sir,” the member of staff replied, “What kind of pepper did you have in mind, red pepper, green pepper, black pepper or chili pepper?”

“No, none of those,” replied Jeff, “I’m looking for toilet pepper…”

Following the success of previous New Year parties, we are having another one this year on Sunday 31^st December.  As it is New Year’s Eve we will be meeting at Barney’s Home in Stanford and starting at 7pm with food later. Please get in touch if you would like to come along so we know how much food to make.

The plan is to start off early with the “Feature Game”, which, as has become traditional, will be the gorgeous, dexterity car-racing game, PitchCar. After that, we will be eating, playing more games and watching the village fireworks at midnight as we can’t be bothered to set off our own!

– Image by BGG contributor visard

And talking of cars…

A policeman sees an elderly woman driving incredibly slowly on the motorway, so he pulls along side and notices her knitting in the driver’s seat. She remains focused on the road and keeps knitting and driving.

He beeps his horn to get her attention, but she is oblivious and carries on.

Getting more frustrated, the policeman turns his siren on and, as she finally notices him, he signals for her to wind the window down.

After a time she finds the button and down goes the window.

Incensed, the cop yells, “PULL OVER!”

“Oh, no sweetie,” she replies. “It’s a scarf, see?”

Our next meeting will be on Tuesday, 12^th December, at the Horse and Jockey pub in Stanford-in-the-Vale.  As this is our last meeting before Christmas we will be meeting early at 7pm for pizzas and Christmas festivities.

This week, the “Feature Game” will be Giftmas at Dungeon Abbey followed by a range of Christmas and winter themed games like Snow Tails, Christmas Tree, The Great Downhill Ski Game, Snowboard, Antarctica, Carcassonne: Winter Edition and Ticket to Ride: Nordic Countries.  Giftmas at Dungeon Abbey is a short game set in a world somewhere between Downton and The Adams Family, designed by a local gamer and member of the Didcot Games Club, Rob Harper.

– Image by boardGOATS

And speaking of Christmas…

Jeff wasn’t in a festive mood.  He was in a lot of pain, so he went to see his doctor to get the problem looked at.