Our next meeting will be on Tuesday, 28^th November, at the Horse and Jockey pub in Stanford-in-the-Vale.  As usual, we will be playing shorter games from 7.30pm as people arrive, until 8pm when we will start something a little longer.

This week, the “Feature Game” will be Lords of Waterdeep, a worker placement game where players take on the role of one of the masked Lords of Waterdeep, secret rulers of the city who use their agents to recruit adventurers to go on quests, earning rewards and increasing their influence over the city.

– Image used with permission of BGG contributor kilroy_locke

And speaking of adventures…

Our next meeting will be on Tuesday, 14^th November, at the Horse and Jockey pub in Stanford-in-the-Vale.  As usual, we will be playing shorter games from 7.30pm as people arrive, until 8pm when we will start something a little longer.

This week, will be the slightly belated “Essen Special” so the “Feature Game” will be Flamme Rouge, a bicycle racing game where players have to balance the demands of their “sprinter” and their “rouleur”; the winner is the player to get one of them over the finish line first.  Although we are celebrating this year’s Spiel Convention at Essen, this game was actually released at Essen in 2016, but now has an expansion that adds a couple of extra players.  There will also be other games brought back from Essen, including Azul,  Queendomino and Animals on Board.

– Image by BGG contributor Hasematzel

And speaking of bicycles…

Jeff was out riding his bicycle when knocked over a little old lady.  Jeff was horrified and stopped to help the old dear.  She was a bit shaken, but was a tough old bird and, with his help, got up and dusted herself off.  As she got to her feet, she berated Jeff asking, “Don’t you know how to ride a bike?!?!”

“Yes,” he answered, “But I don’t know how to ring the bell yet…”

Our next meeting will be on Tuesday, 31^st October, at the Horse and Jockey pub in Stanford-in-the-Vale.  As usual, we will be playing shorter games from 7.30pm as people arrive, until 8pm when we will start something a little longer.

Normally, the week after Essen would be the “Essen Special” playing a game someone has brought back from the fair, but this week Tuesday is Halloween, so to mark the occasion, the “Feature Game” will be Dead of Winter: A Crossroads Game.  In this game, players are part of a small, weakened colony of survivors in a world where most of humanity is either dead or diseased, flesh-craving monsters.  Players must therefore work towards a common victory condition, but for each individual player to achieve victory, they must also complete their personal secret objective.

– Image used with permission of BGG contributor mikehulsebus

Jeff, Joe and Jim ran into a museum to hide from the hoard of zombies coming down the road.  While looking for something to eat and drink Joe found a golden lamp out of which popped a Genie.

“You can have three wishes.”  The Genie said, “What is your first wish?”

Without missing a beat, Joe answered, “I want to go back to my family before the zombie apocalypse and I want it to never happen!” Jim added, “That sounds great, I wish for that too!”

And with a puff the two men were gone.

There was a sudden splintering, shattering noise as the front door of the museum caved in with the weight of all the zombies pushing on it.  As the museum rapidly filled up with zombies, the Genie asked Jeff, the last of the three friends what he wished for.

Jeff thought about it quickly and answered, “I wish my two friends were back here to help fight off all these zombies…”

Our next meeting will be on Tuesday, 17^th October, at the Horse and Jockey pub in Stanford-in-the-Vale.  As usual, we will be playing shorter games from 7.30pm as people arrive, until 8pm when we will start something a little longer.

This week the “Feature Game” will be Squirrel Rush, which is a quick-playing little filler game where players are squirrels traveling through the wood collecting nuts.  It is a very simple little game with two variants; we will probably be playing with the slightly less random “Smarty Squirrel” rules.

– Image by boardGOATS

And talking of smart squirrels…

Jeff and his father went hunting together for the first time.

Jeff’s father said, “Stay here and be very quiet. I’ll be just across the field.”

A few minutes later, Jeff let out a blood curdling scream and his father ran back.

“What on earth is wrong?” Jeff’s father asked. “I told you to be quiet.”

Jeff answered, “Look Dad, I was quiet when the spider crawled across my face; I was quiet when the slithered across my feet. But when the two squirrels crawled up my trouser leg and said, “Should we eat them here or take them with us?” Well, then I guess I just panicked…”

Our next meeting will be on Tuesday 3^rd October, at the Horse and Jockey pub in Stanford-in-the-Vale.  As usual, we will be playing shorter games from 7.30pm as people arrive, until 8pm when we will start something a little longer.

To celebrate our fifth birthday this week, the “Feature Game” will once again be Crappy Birthday.  This is a silly little filler/party game that we can mess about with while people are eating cake, allowing us to play something longer once everyone is done.  Family games like this are not usually our sort of thing, but we played it last year to celebrate our fourth birthday and had a ball, so we thought we’d keep the second deck of cards for this year…

– Image by boardGOATS

And speaking of birthdays…

It was Jeff’s birthday and, as it was a special birthday, his brother had bought him a special present.  Before opening the gift, Jeff shook it slightly, and noticed that it was wet in the corner.  Touching his finger to the wet spot and tasting it, he asked, “Is it a bottle of wine?”

His brother shook his head, “No…” So, again, Jeff touched his finger to the box and tasted the liquid.

“A bottle of scotch then?” he asked, beginning to get all excited – this was way better than he’d expected.  Again his brother shook his head though, “No, not a bottle of scotch…”

Eventually, Jeff said, “OK, I give in, what is it?”

His brother paused for effect, before answering, “A puppy!”

Our next meeting will be on Tuesday, 19^th September, at the Horse and Jockey pub in Stanford-in-the-Vale.  As usual, we will be playing shorter games from 7.30pm as people arrive, until 8pm when we will start something a little longer.

This week the “Feature Game” will be Battle Kittens, which is a quick-playing card drafting game with a ninja-cat theme.  The idea is that players draft kitten cards then choose which kittens to put into each of the three different battle arenas.

– Image by boardGOATS

And talking of ninja cats…

Jeff was driving through the city when a policeman stopped him and asked him about the Siberian Lynx in the passenger seat.

“What are you doing with that Siberian Lynx?” he exclaimed, “You should take it to the zoo.”

Jeff replied, “Certainly Officer, that’s just where we are going.”

The following week, the same policeman saw Jeff in his car, once more with the cat next to him in the front seat.  This time, of them were wearing sunglasses.  The policeman pulled him over.

“I thought you were going to take that cat to the zoo!”

Jeff replied, “I did. We had such a good time we are going to the beach this weekend!”

Our next meeting will be on Tuesday, 5^th September, at the Horse and Jockey pub in Stanford-in-the-Vale.  As usual, we will be playing shorter games from 7.30pm as people arrive, until 8pm when we will start something a little longer.

This week the “Feature Game” will be Chariot Race, which is a fairly quick-playing Yahtzee style dice game with a horse racing element.  The game is guaranteed to include lots of cut-throat nastiness that would make Judah Ben-Hur wince, but it should be all over in a fraction of the time!

– Image by boardGOATS

And talking of horses…

A horse was looking over a fence watching a game of cricket.

“Any chance of a game?” he asked Jeff who was the captain.

At first the captain was taken aback by the talking horse, but when it insisted it was keen to play Jeff thought it might be a bit of a laugh if he sent the horse out as the opening bat. The horse shaped up to the first ball and slammed it over the boundary for six. He did the same with the second and third, indeed every ball he hit for six until the over ended.

Jeff had been the horse’s partner, so when the bowler ran in from the other end and he managed his first shot for a meagre single, he called for the horse to run.  The horse had other ideas though and just stood there.  Frantic calls by the captain to run were ignored and in the confusion the skipper was stumped out.

“Why on earth didn’t you run?!?!” yelled Jeff in disgust.

“Listen mate,” replied the horse, “If I could run I would be at the racetrack today, not messing around with this cricket nonsense…”

Our next meeting will be on Tuesday, 22^nd August, at the Horse and Jockey pub in Stanford-in-the-Vale.  As usual, we will be playing shorter games from 7.30pm as people arrive, until 8pm when we will start something a little longer.

This week the “Feature Game” will be Survive: Escape from Atlantis!, which is a cut-throat game with elements of strategy, teamwork and memory.  Players are trying evacuate their pieces from Atlantis as the island sinks and get as many to shore before a volcano finishes everyone off, but some pieces are more valuable than others…

– Image used with permission of BGG contributor punkin312

And talking of Islands…

Jeff, Joe and Jim had got themselves stranded on island. One day, the three of them were walking along the beach and discovered a magic lamp. They knew what to do and rubbed and  and rubbed, and sure enough, out popped a genie.

The genie said, “Since I can only grant three wishes, you may each have one.”

Joe was quickest off the mark and answered, “I’ve been stuck here for years. I miss my family, my girlfriend, and my life. I just want to go home.”

With a puff of smoke, Joe got his wish and was returned to his family.  Jim, was really impressed and fancied a try saying, “I’ve been stuck here for years as well. I miss my family, my wife, and my life. I wish I could go home too.”

Another puff of smoke and Jim was gone too.  Meanwhile, Jeff had been watching with increasing concern and when Jim vanished he looked near to tears.  The genie noticed his obvious distress and asked, “Whatever’s the matter?”

Jeff replied, “I wish my mates were still here, what am I gonna do without them?!?!”

Our next meeting will be on Tuesday, 8^th August, at the Horse and Jockey pub in Stanford-in-the-Vale.  As usual, we will be playing shorter games from 7.30pm as people arrive, until 8pm when we will start something a little longer.

This week the “Feature Game” will be Honshū, a light trick-taking, map-building card game loosely set in feudal Japan.  Players are lords and ladies of noble houses seeking new lands and opportunities for fame and fortune.  This is a clever little card game where manipulating player order is crucial to success.

– Image by boardGOATS

And talking of Japan…

In the time of the Samurai there was a powerful Emperor who needed a new head Samurai so he sent out a declaration throughout the country that he was searching for one. A year passed and only three people showed up.

The Emperor asked the first Samurai to come in and demonstrate why he should be head Samurai. The first Samurai opened a match box and out popped a little fly. With one flick of his sword, the fly dropped dead on the ground in two pieces.

The Emperor exclaimed, “That is very impressive!”

The Emperor then asked the second Samurai to come in and demonstrate his skill. The second Samurai also opened a match box and out popped a fly.  The Samurai’s sword moved so fast the Emperor couldn’t see it as the fly dropped dead on the floor in four pieces.

The Emperor exclaimed, “That is really very impressive!”

The Emperor then had the third Samurai in to demonstrate why he should be the head Samurai. The third Samurai also opened a match box and out popped a fly. His flashing blade moved around the room faster and longer than the previous applicants and a gust of wind filled the room, but the fly was still alive and buzzing around.

The Emperor, obviously disappointed, asked, “After all of that, why is the fly not dead?”

The third Samurai bowed deeply and smiled, “If you look closely, you’ll see that the fly has been circumcised!”

Our next meeting will be on Tuesday, 25^th July, at the Horse and Jockey pub in Stanford-in-the-Vale.  As usual, we will be playing shorter games from 7.30pm as people arrive, until 8pm when we will start something a little longer.

This week the “Feature Game” will be Kingdomino, a light tile-laying game borrowing aspects from Carcassonne and Dominoes with an interesting auction mechanic.  Although we’ve played it a lot recently, everyone seems to like Kingdomino and this week we have chosen to celebrate its recent award of the coveted German Game of the Year or Spiel des Jahres.

– Image by boardGOATS

And talking of winning…

Jeff was catching a long-distance train and found himself sitting next to a pretty blond American girl. Jeff asked the young lady if she would like to play a game and explained how it works.

“I ask you a question,” he explained, “And if you don’t know the answer you pay me, then we switch.”

The blond replied, “That’s not fair, I never even finished high school!”

“That’s OK,” replied the Jeff.  “If you don’t know the answer you pay me only £50, but if I don’t know the answer, I will pay you £250.”

The American girl eventually agreed and Jeff asked the first question, “What’s the distance from the earth to the moon?”

The blonde didn’t say a word and handed over £50 and then it was her turn.  She asked Jeff, “What goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four?”

Jeff looked puzzled. He took out his smart phone and searched everywhere he could. Frustrated, he phoned some friends and co-workers, all to no avail.  The train was due to arrive and Jeff had spent well over an hour of searching for the answer, but finally he gave up and handed the fair American £250.  The girl didn’t say anything and eventually Jeff’s curiosity got the better of him so he asked, “Well, what IS the answer?”

The blonde American didn’t answer, instead just handed over £50.