Our next meeting will be on Tuesday 20^th September, at the Horse and Jockey pub in Stanford-in-the-Vale.  As usual, we will be playing shorter games from 7.30pm as people arrive, until 8pm when we will start something a little longer.

This week the “Feature Game” will be Cuba which is a longer game set in Cuba prior to the revolution where, under turbulent circumstances, the villages of the island strive for independent wealth and influence.  Players earn points by shipping merchandise from the harbor, but also by erecting and using buildings, and by abiding by the law.

– Image used with permission of BGG contributor jsper

And speaking of Cuba…

When Fidel Castro died he arrived in Heaven in front of the Pearly Gates.  Saint Peter approached and said, “I’m sorry, but you will have to go to Hell.”  So, off Castro went and when he got there, the Devil greeted him warmly, “We’re so glad to have you, welcome, welcome.”

Castro was just settling in, when he realised he had forgotten his suitcases, having left them at the Pearly Gate House.  So the Devil said, “That’s no problem, I’ll send a couple of my minions to fetch it for you.”

Unfortunately, when the two minions got to heaven they found that Saint Peter was out and the gates were firmly closed with the suitcases visible just on the other side.  So, they decided to climb the fence.  Just as they started climbing, Saint Peter returned and saw them.  St. Peter gave a deep sigh and commented, “Castro is in hell for just ten minutes and already we have refugees…!”

Our next meeting will be on Tuesday 6^th September, at the Horse and Jockey pub in Stanford-in-the-Vale.  As usual, we will be playing shorter games from 7.30pm as people arrive, until 8pm when we will start something a little longer.

This week the “Feature Game” will be The Manhattan Project: Chain Reaction which is a quick little filler card game where players are trying to design bombs using scientists to convert yellowcake into pure uranium.  We have chosen this lighter game so that we have lots of flexibility in choosing what to play for the rest of the evening.

– Image by boardGOATS

And speaking of scientists…

A group of wealthy investors asked three scientists to help them predict the outcome of a horse race.  First they asked a biologist who said they could genetically engineer an unbeatable racehorse, but it would take two hundred years and £100bn. Next they asked a statistician who reported that he could predict the outcome of any race, at a cost of £100m per race, and they would only be right 10% of the time.

Finally, the investors asked a physicist. He said he could also predict the outcome of any race, and that his process was cheap and very simple. The investors listened eagerly to this proposal. The physicist went on, “We have made several simplifying assumptions: first, let each horse be a perfect rolling sphere…”

Our next meeting will be on Tuesday 23^rd August, at the Horse and Jockey pub in Stanford-in-the-Vale.  As usual, we will be playing shorter games from 7.30pm as people arrive, until 8pm when we will start something a little longer.

This week the “Feature Game” will be Abluxxen (also known as Linko!), which is a quick little card-collecting filler game, with foxy art-work and plenty of opportunity to have a go at other players.  We have chosen this lighter game so that we have lots of flexibility in choosing what to play for the rest of the evening.

– Image by boardGOATS

And speaking of foxes…

On his way home from work, Jeff found a fox cub on the side of the road.  It wasn’t going to survive the night on its own so Jeff picked it up and put it in his pocket and took it home.  When he got in, Jeff’s wife noticed the little creature straight away and he had to ‘fess up, telling her he was going to keep it as a pet.

“But where are you going to keep it?” she asked.

Jeff thought for a moment, and then replied, “Why, in the bedroom.”

His wife wasn’t pleased, “What about that horrid smell though?” she asked.

“Oh,” answered Jeff, “I got used to it, I’m sure he will too…”

Our next meeting will be on Tuesday 9^th August, at the Horse and Jockey pub in Stanford-in-the-Vale.  As usual, we will be playing shorter games from 7.30pm as people arrive, until 8pm when we will start something a little longer.

This week the “Feature Game” will be Orléans, which is a “bag-building” game where players are trying to gain supremacy through trade, construction and science in medieval France.  It is not a terribly difficult game to understand, though it has quite a bit of depth.

– Image used with permission of BGG contributor punkin312

And speaking of the Orléans…

When Jeff was a little boy he would say his prayers before he went to sleep.  Every night he would kneel by his bed and say, “Please God, bless mummy and Daddy and all the other children, Amen.”

Then one night, as his father walked past his bedroom door he heard Jeff say, “Please God, bless mummy and Daddy and all the other children and make Orléans the capital of France, Amen.”

Jeff’s father couldn’t resist, so he went into his son’s bedroom and asked, “Jeff, why do you want Orléans to be the capital of France?”

Jeff replied, “Because that’s what I wrote in my geography test…”

Our next meeting will be on Tuesday 26^th July, at the Horse and Jockey pub in Stanford-in-the-Vale.  As usual, we will be playing shorter games from 7.30pm as people arrive, until 8pm when we will start something a little longer.

This week, to celebrate it winning the Spiel des Jahres Award, the “Feature Game” will be Codenames.   This is a very popular word-based deduction game played in teams of “Spies” who are trying to identify the other spies on their side.  The idea is that the team leader gives clues to the rest of their team who are trying to choose particular word-cards (code-names)  from an array.  The trick is for the leader to come up with a clue that covers multiple correct answers so that the rest of the team can identify the complete set before the opposition identify all theirs.  It is very quick to play so we can move onto something a little heavier, possibly even Isle of Skye, the winner of this year’s Kennerspiel des Jahres, or one of the other nominees, like Imhotep or Karuba.

– Image used with permission of boardgamephotos

And speaking of Spies…

Jeff was working as an intern for MI5 when, after a month doing some very tedious paperwork, he was summoned to his bosses office on the top floor.

“It’s all very funny,” his boss explained, “The CIA have asked for our help – seems they’ve lost track of an operative in Ireland, chap by the name of ‘Murphy’, do you think you would be able to find him?”

Jeff was very, very excited and very keen to get out of the office – his very own secret mission – Wow!  The chief spy continued, “All I can tell you is that his name is Murphy and that he’s somewhere in Ireland.  If you think you’ve located him, tell him the code words, ‘The weather forecast calls for mist in the morning.’ If it’s really him, he’ll answer, ‘Yes, and for mist at noon as well’.”

So Jeff got on the next plane to Ireland and stopped in a bar in a small town. He casually said to the bartender, “Maybe you can help me. I’m looking for a guy named Murphy.”

The bartender replied, “You’re going to have to be more specific because, around here, there are lots of guys named Murphy. There’s ‘Murphy the Baker’ who runs the pastry shop on the next block; ‘Murphy the Banker’ who’s president of our local savings bank; ‘Murphy the Blacksmith’ who works at the stables, and, as a matter of fact, my name is Murphy, too.”

Hearing this, Jeff figured he might as well try the code words on the bartender, so he said, “The weather forecast calls for mist in the morning.” To which the bartender replied, “Oh, you’re looking for ‘Murphy the Spy’ – he lives just down the street.”

Our next meeting will be on Tuesday 12^th July, at the Horse and Jockey pub in Stanford-in-the-Vale.  As usual, we will be playing shorter games from 7.30pm as people arrive, until 8pm when we will start something a little longer.

This week the “Feature Game” will be Puerto Rico, which is an older game, and in many ways the archetypal Euro game.  The idea is that players assume the role of colonial governor on the island of Puerto Rico with the aim of amassing victory points by constructing buildings and shipping goods to Europe.  This game was first demonstrated at Essen fifteen years ago in 2001 and for many years occupied a seemingly unassailable position at the top of the rankings on the BoardGameGeek website.

– Image used with permission of BGG reviewer EndersGame

And speaking of shipping…

Once upon a time there was a famous sea captain.  This captain was very successful at what he did and for years he guided merchant ships all over the world.  Never did stormy seas or pirates get the best of him.  He was admired by his crew and fellow captains.  However, there was one thing different about this captain. Every morning he went through a strange ritual.  He would lock himself in his captain’s quarters and open a small safe.  In the safe was an envelope with a piece of paper inside.  He would stare at the paper for a minute, and then lock it back up. After, he would go about his daily duties.

For years this went on, and his crew became very curious.  Was it a treasure map?  Was it a letter from a long lost love?  Everyone speculated about the contents of the strange envelope.

One sad day the captain died at sea.  After laying the captain’s body to rest, the first mate led the entire crew into the captains’ quarters.  He opened the safe, got the envelope, opened it and turned pale.  After a moment, he showed the paper to the others.  On it were just four words:

Port Left
Starboard Right

Our next meeting will be on Tuesday 28^th June, at the Horse and Jockey pub in Stanford-in-the-Vale.  As usual, we will be playing shorter games from 7.30pm as people arrive, until 8pm when we will start something a little longer.

This week the “Feature Game” will be Concordia, which is a strategic game of economic development in Roman times where players must rely on their advanced planning and consideration of opponent’s moves rather than luck of dice rolling or card draws.  A longer game where time is strongly dependent on the number of players, we have several copies within the group, so we can play multiple games simultaneously if there is demand.

– Image used with permission of BGG contributor jsper

And speaking of Romans…

Jeff was still working in the bar when, much to his surprise a Roman soldier walked in in full regalia.  He stood at the bar and stiffly waited until Jeff had finished serving and asked him what he would like.

“A Martinus please,” replied the Roman.

“You mean a Martini don’t you sir?” Jeff asked a little confused.

The Roman answered, “If I wanted a double, I would have asked for it!”

Our next meeting will be on Tuesday 14^th June, at the Horse and Jockey pub in Stanford-in-the-Vale.  As usual, we will be playing shorter games from 7.30pm as people arrive, until 8pm when we will start something a little longer.

This week the “Feature Game” will be Pi mal Pflaumen, which is a trick-taking card game with elements of set collecting and lovely artwork.  Players simultaneously play cards and then claim one of the played fruit cards based on the strength of the card that they played. Each card depicts a fruit, and a scoring pattern or a special action.  At the end of the game players tally their points based on completed contracts and whoever has the highest score wins.

– Image by boardGOATS

And speaking of fruit…

Jeff was working in a bar when a duck walked in and asked, “Got any grapes?”  Jeff, very confused by this, told the duck that no the bar didn’t serve grapes. The duck thanked him politely and left.

The next day, the duck returned and again said, “Got any grapes?” Again, Jeff politely explained that no, the bar did not serve grapes, never had served grapes, and, furthermore, probably never would serve grapes. The duck, a little ruffled, fluffed his feathers slightly. thanked him and left.

After a week of this, Jeff was beginning to lose patience.  So, one day, when the duck came in, before it could say anything, Jeff started, “Listen, duck, this is a bar: we do not serve grapes! If you ask for grapes again, I will nail your beak to the bar, got it?”

The duck was silent for a moment, and then asked, “Got any nails?” Totally confused, Jeff replied, “No…”  Before he could get any further, however, the Duck continued,  “Good. Got any grapes?”

Our next meeting will be on Tuesday 31^st May, at the Horse and Jockey pub in Stanford-in-the-Vale.  As usual, we will be playing shorter games from 7.30pm as people arrive, until 8pm when we will start something a little longer.

This week the “Feature Game” will be Vanuatu, in which players are striving to be the most prosperous islanders in the archipelago.  The game is a mixture of role selection and worker placement with a couple of little nasty twists thrown in for good measure.

– Image used with permission of BGG contributor henk.rolleman

And speaking of the Vanuatu archipelago…

Jeff was visiting the island of Gaua for a holiday.  He had got up late and was looking for a mid morning snack when he saw a little local shop.  Jeff walked and asked the cashier, “How much are your doughnuts?”

“Oh, they are only ten vatus, sir,” she replied smiling.

Jeff thought for a moment, looking round, “So what about the coffee?”

The cashier continued smiling, “Why, it is only five vatus and refill is free.”

Jeff paused as he considered the complicated maths, then, very pleased with himself, he took out a ten vatus coin and handed it to the cashier saying, “One doughnut and one refill, please.”

Our next meeting will be on Tuesday 17^th May, at the Horse and Jockey pub in Stanford-in-the-Vale.  As usual, we will be playing shorter games from 7.30pm as people arrive, until 8pm when we will start something a little longer.

This week the “Feature Game” will be Cargo Noir, in which players represent “families” that traffic in smuggled goods in a 1950s noir setting.  Once players have collected goods, they can trade them in to add more ships to their fleet, allowing them to scout for wares in more locations, purchase victory spoils, or take other actions. The more goods collected, the more valuable they can be. The player with the most spoils at the end wins.

– Image used with permission of BGG contributor Toynan

And speaking of the smugglers…

Jeff was working as a border guard checking people crossing from the USA into Mexico.  One morning, José arrived at the border on his bike with two huge bags over his shoulders. Jeff stopped him and asked, “What’s in the bags?”

“Senior, It’s only sand.” replied José.

“Sand???” answered Jeff incredulously. “Well, we’ll just see about that – get off the bike!”

The guard took the bags, ripped them open, emptied them out and found nothing in them… except sand.  Detaining José overnight, the sand was analysed, but only to discover it was in fact simply sand.  In the morning, José was released, the sand was put into new bags and placed on José’s shoulders, and he was let across the border.

The next day, the same thing happened. Jeff asked, “What have you got there?”

“Sand,” answered José again. A thorough examination of the bags again showed there to be nothing but sand, and subsequently José was allowed to continue across the border. For a whole year this continued until one day José didn’t show up, and Jeff discovered him in a Cantina in Mexico.

“Hey,” said Jeff, “I know you were smuggling something. For a year it’s driven me crazy. It’s all I can think about… I can’t get sleep – even the dog thinks I’m beginning to lose it! I’m not working on the border any more, so just between you and me, what are you smuggling?”

Jose sipped his beer, smiled and replied, “Bicycles…”