Category Archives: Next Meeting

Next Meeting – 13th December 2016

Our next meeting will be on Tuesday 13^th December, at the Horse and Jockey pub in Stanford-in-the-Vale. As usual, we will be playing shorter games from 7.30pm as people arrive, until 8pm when we will start something a little longer.

This week the “Feature Game” will be Marrakech, which is a strange, yet very simple little area control game where players take the role of a salesperson who tries to outwit the others by placing pieces of carpet.

– Image used with permission of BGG contributor Ceryon

And speaking of carpets…

Jeff was engaged as a door-to-door vacuum cleaner salesman. One day, he managed to bully his way into a woman’s home in a rural area.

“This machine is the best ever,” he exclaimed, whilst pouring a bag of dirt over the lounge floor. The woman said she was really worried it may not all come off, so Jeff added, “If this machine doesn’t remove all the dust completely, I’ll lick it off myself.”

“Would you like ketchup on it?” she asked. “We don’t have electricity out here…”

Christmas GOATS – 2016

For the last few years, on New Year’s Eve, we have had a bit of a party in a private house with a bite to eat followed by games. These things rapidly become “tradition”, so this year we are once again holding the now “traditional”, New Year’s Eve Games Night. In the past, because of the way the holidays have fallen, this has replaced a normal Tuesday games night, but this year, we will holding both! So the next two meetings will be, Wednesday 28^th December, at the Horse and Jockey pub and Saturday 31^st December, at “Barney’s House”, sorry – wrong link, “Barney’s House”. The pub is also holding their usual Thursday night Quiz, and some of us will be going along on 30^th to make up a GOATS team. These are in addition to the normal meeting on 13^th December and 10^th January 2017. More details will follow nearer the time, but we look forward to seeing everyone at New Year.

– Image from youtube.com

Next Meeting – 29th Movember 2016

Our next meeting will be on Tuesday 29^th Movember, at the Horse and Jockey pub in Stanford-in-the-Vale. As usual, we will be playing shorter games from 7.30pm as people arrive, until 8pm when we will start something a little longer.

This week the “Feature Game” will be The Climbers, which is an interesting and unusual 3D strategy game that looks like it is designed round a set of children’s building blocks. With a couple of ladders and a blocking stone, it is the player who’s Meeple climbs the highest that wins.

– Image by boardGOATS

And speaking of climbers…

A little old lady, who lived on the third floor of a boardinghouse, broke her leg. As the doctor put a cast on it, he warned her not to climb any stairs. Two months later, the doctor took off the cast.

“Can I climb stairs now?” asked the little old lady.

“Yes, of course” he replied, “But don’t overdo it…”.

“Oh thank goodness!” she said. “I’m sick and tired of shinnying up and down that drainpipe!”

Next Meeting – 15th Movember 2016

Our next meeting will be on Tuesday 15^th Movember, at the Horse and Jockey pub in Stanford-in-the-Vale. As usual, we will be playing shorter games from 7.30pm as people arrive, until 8pm when we will start something a little longer.

This week the “Feature Game” will be Key to the City – London, which is a streamlined version of one of our favourite games, Keyflower. Released at Essen and themed around the City of London, each tile features an iconic landmark, and players “buy” these tiles and add them to their boroughs. The game uses many of the same mechanisms as Keyflower, with an additional connection element that simplifies and enhances the spacial component of the game.

– Image by boardGOATS

And speaking of London…

Jeff and Joe had gone to London looking for work. were strolling down Bond Street. After walking for a few minutes, Jeff turned to Joe with a look of amazement on his face. “Joe! Look at that shop over there – I thought that London was supposed to be expensive, but that shop is as cheap as chips!”

Joe replied, “Wow – suits £10, shirts £4, trousers £5. I think that we should buy the lot and take them back with us – we would make a tidy profit selling them in Oxford.”

So the two visitors went into the shop, where Jeff was greeted politely by the owner. Jeff, doing his best to sound local, said, “I’ll ‘ave twenty of yer ‘Whistles’, twenty ‘Uncle Berts’ and twenty pairs o’ ‘Callards’ please.”

Upon hearing this request, the owner smiled, and said, “You’re not from round here, are you?”

Quite bemused, Jeff responded, “No, how can you tell?”

The Owner replied, “This is a Dry Cleaners.”

Next Meeting – 1st Movember 2016

Our next meeting will be on Tuesday 1^st Movember, at the Horse and Jockey pub in Stanford-in-the-Vale. As usual, we will be playing shorter games from 7.30pm as people arrive, until 8pm when we will start something a little longer.

This week the “Feature Game” will be Batavia, which is a medium weight game about merchants visiting the trading posts of the five East India companies all over Asia.

– Image used with permission of BGG reviewer EndersGame

And speaking of traders…

A successful trader parked his brand new Porsche in front of the office ready to show it off to his colleagues. As he prepared to get out a juggernaut went past, too close and completely tore off the driver’s side. The trader immediately grabbed his mobile and dialled 999. It wasn’t more than five minutes before a policeman pulled up, but before the policeman had a chance to ask any questions, the trader started screaming how his car, which he just picked up that day, was completely ruined and would never be the same again. After the trader finally finished his rant, the policeman shook his head in disbelief.

“I can’t believe how materialistic you traders are,” he said. “You’re so focused on your possessions you don’t notice anything else.”

“How can you say that?” asked the trader.

The policeman replied, “Didn’t you realise that your arm is missing from your elbow down? It was looks like it was torn off when the truck hit you.”

The trader looked down in absolute horror. “$%#*@!” he screamed, “Where’s my Rolex?!?!?!”

Next Meeting – 18th October 2016

Our next meeting will be on Tuesday 18^th October, at the Horse and Jockey pub in Stanford-in-the-Vale. As usual, we will be playing shorter games from 7.30pm as people arrive, until 8pm when we will start something a little longer.

This week the “Feature Game” will be The Game: Extreme, which is a game picked up from the Game Fair last week in Essen. We’ve played The Game quite a lot, but this new version adds extra instructions on some of the cards that make the game quite a bit more challenging.

– Image by boardGOATS

And speaking of “the game”…

Jeff was working as assistant manager in a hotel. They used to get all sorts of people staying, one day a group of chess enthusiasts checked in. That evening, the gamers were all standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, Jeff came out of the office and asked them to disperse.

“But why?” one of them asked, as they started to move on.

“Because,” answered Jeff, “I can’t stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer.”

Next Meeting – 4th October 2016

Our next meeting will be on Tuesday 4^th October, at the Horse and Jockey pub in Stanford-in-the-Vale. As usual, we will be playing shorter games from 7.30pm as people arrive, until 8pm when we will start something a little longer.

To celebrate our fourth birthday this week, the “Feature Game” will be Crappy Birthday. This is a silly little filler/party game that we can mess about with while people are eating allowing us to play something longer once everyone has arrived and finished the inevitable Essen discussions.

– Image by boardGOATS

And speaking of birthdays…

It was Jeff’s birthday and, as it was a special birthday, his brother had bought him a special present. Before opening the gift, Jeff shook it slightly, and noticed that it was wet in the corner. Touching his finger to the wet spot and tasting it, he asked, “Is it a bottle of wine?”

His brother shook his head, “No…” So, again, Jeff touched his finger to the box and tasted the liquid.

“A bottle of scotch then?” he asked, beginning to get all excited – this was way better than he’d expected. Again his brother shook his head though, “No, not a bottle of scotch…”

Eventually, Jeff said, “OK, I give in, what is it?”

His brother paused for effect, before answering, “A puppy!”

Next Meeting – 20th September 2016

Our next meeting will be on Tuesday 20^th September, at the Horse and Jockey pub in Stanford-in-the-Vale. As usual, we will be playing shorter games from 7.30pm as people arrive, until 8pm when we will start something a little longer.

This week the “Feature Game” will be Cuba which is a longer game set in Cuba prior to the revolution where, under turbulent circumstances, the villages of the island strive for independent wealth and influence. Players earn points by shipping merchandise from the harbor, but also by erecting and using buildings, and by abiding by the law.

– Image used with permission of BGG contributor jsper

And speaking of Cuba…

When Fidel Castro died he arrived in Heaven in front of the Pearly Gates. Saint Peter approached and said, “I’m sorry, but you will have to go to Hell.” So, off Castro went and when he got there, the Devil greeted him warmly, “We’re so glad to have you, welcome, welcome.”

Castro was just settling in, when he realised he had forgotten his suitcases, having left them at the Pearly Gate House. So the Devil said, “That’s no problem, I’ll send a couple of my minions to fetch it for you.”

Unfortunately, when the two minions got to heaven they found that Saint Peter was out and the gates were firmly closed with the suitcases visible just on the other side. So, they decided to climb the fence. Just as they started climbing, Saint Peter returned and saw them. St. Peter gave a deep sigh and commented, “Castro is in hell for just ten minutes and already we have refugees…!”

Next Meeting – 6th September 2016

Our next meeting will be on Tuesday 6^th September, at the Horse and Jockey pub in Stanford-in-the-Vale. As usual, we will be playing shorter games from 7.30pm as people arrive, until 8pm when we will start something a little longer.

This week the “Feature Game” will be The Manhattan Project: Chain Reaction which is a quick little filler card game where players are trying to design bombs using scientists to convert yellowcake into pure uranium. We have chosen this lighter game so that we have lots of flexibility in choosing what to play for the rest of the evening.

– Image by boardGOATS

And speaking of scientists…

A group of wealthy investors asked three scientists to help them predict the outcome of a horse race. First they asked a biologist who said they could genetically engineer an unbeatable racehorse, but it would take two hundred years and £100bn. Next they asked a statistician who reported that he could predict the outcome of any race, at a cost of £100m per race, and they would only be right 10% of the time.

Finally, the investors asked a physicist. He said he could also predict the outcome of any race, and that his process was cheap and very simple. The investors listened eagerly to this proposal. The physicist went on, “We have made several simplifying assumptions: first, let each horse be a perfect rolling sphere…”

Next Meeting – 23rd August 2016

Our next meeting will be on Tuesday 23^rd August, at the Horse and Jockey pub in Stanford-in-the-Vale. As usual, we will be playing shorter games from 7.30pm as people arrive, until 8pm when we will start something a little longer.

This week the “Feature Game” will be Abluxxen (also known as Linko!), which is a quick little card-collecting filler game, with foxy art-work and plenty of opportunity to have a go at other players. We have chosen this lighter game so that we have lots of flexibility in choosing what to play for the rest of the evening.

– Image by boardGOATS

And speaking of foxes…

On his way home from work, Jeff found a fox cub on the side of the road. It wasn’t going to survive the night on its own so Jeff picked it up and put it in his pocket and took it home. When he got in, Jeff’s wife noticed the little creature straight away and he had to ‘fess up, telling her he was going to keep it as a pet.

“But where are you going to keep it?” she asked.

Jeff thought for a moment, and then replied, “Why, in the bedroom.”

His wife wasn’t pleased, “What about that horrid smell though?” she asked.

“Oh,” answered Jeff, “I got used to it, I’m sure he will too…”