Our next meeting will be on Tuesday 3^rd May, at the Horse and Jockey pub in Stanford-in-the-Vale.  As usual, we will be playing shorter games from 7.30pm as people arrive, until 8pm when we will start something a little longer.

This week the “Feature Game” will be Cheesonomics, which is a strategic set collecting, hand management card game based on controlling and manipulating the supply and demand of various types of cheese.  It plays quite quickly, so it should give us plenty of time to play something a bit longer once everyone has arrived.

– Image by boardGOATS

And speaking of the cheese…

Joe and Jeff were in a bar having drinks when a beautiful young woman approached them and said, “Whoever can use the words ‘liver’ and ‘cheese’ in a creative sentence can be my date for the evening.”

The boys thought their luck was in and Joe, quick off the mark said, “I love liver and cheese!”  Before the woman could reply though, Jeff interrupted, “Liver alone, cheese mine!”

The next meeting is on Tuesday 19^th April at the Horse and Jockey pub in Stanford-in-the-Vale.  As usual, we will be playing shorter games from 7.30pm as people arrive, until 8pm when we will start something a little longer.

This week the “Feature Game” will be Colosseum, which is an older game where each player is a Roman impresario – producing great spectacles in his or her arena in the hopes of attracting the most spectators.  It has beautiful pieces and is currently out of print though a crowdfunding project has just finished that will hopefully mean it will become available again soon.

– Image by BGG contributor takras

And talking of Romans…

Julius Caesar was addressing the crowd in the Colosseum, “Friends, Romans and countrymen. I have returned from my campaign in France where I killed 50,000 Gauls!”

The crowd rose to its feet cheering, “Hail mighty Caesar!”

At this point Brutus jumped up and yelled, “Caesar lies – I’ve discovered he only killed 25,000!”

Caesar replied, “Yes, but remember that away Gauls count double in Europe.”

The next meeting is on Tuesday 5^th April at the Horse and Jockey pub in Stanford-in-the-Vale.  As usual, we will be playing shorter games from 7.30pm as people arrive, until 8pm when we will start something a little longer.

This week the “Feature Game” will be Agricola, which is a highly regarded game about medieval farming   This is slightly heavier game than some of our previous Feature Games, but supports different levels of complexity from the “family” version to more advanced versions, so we can play a level that is appropriate to the people that turn up.

– Image by boardGOATS

And talking of farming…

A farm boy accidentally overturned his wagon-load of wheat.

The farmer who lived nearby heard the noise and yelled over to the boy, “Hey Jeff, forget your troubles. Come in and have tea, I’ll help you sort out that wagon later.”

“That’s very nice of you,” Jeff answered, “But I don’t think Dad would like me to.”

“Aw come on Jeff, a bite to eat will give us the strength we need,” the farmer insisted.

“Well OK,” Jeff finally agreed, and added, “But Dad won’t like it.”

After a hearty dinner, Jeff thanked his host. “I feel a lot better now, but I know Dad is going to be very upset.”

“Don’t be silly!” the neighbour said with a smile. “By the way, where is he?”

“Under the wagon.”

Our next meeting will be on Tuesday 22^nd March, at the Horse and Jockey pub in Stanford-in-the-Vale.  As usual, we will be playing shorter games from 7.30pm as people arrive, until 8pm when we will start something a little longer.

This week the “Feature Game” will be Glen More, which is a tile laying game set in the seventeenth century highlands.  The game has an unusual turn order mechanic (similar to that in Tokaido) as well as a novel scoring system and was chosen following the success of Isle of Sky: From Chieftain to King.

– Image by boardGOATS

And speaking of Scottish Glens…

When Sandy MacGregor came back from his first trip to London, everyone in the Glen was keen to find out how he had got on.

“So bonny lad, did ee like it?” one elder asked over a wee dram.

“Oh, it was no’ bad, really,” commented Sandy, who was busy thinking about other things.

“As good as that, was it?” came the dry response.

” Well,” Sandy expanded, more thoughtfully, “There was just the one thing wrong. The other guests in ma hotel just would nee go to their beds. They were in the corridor ootside ma room shouting and banging on ma door until three o’clock in the morning.”

“So what did you dae, Sandy?” the elder asked.

Sandy shrugged, “Och, I just kept on playing ma bagpipes.”

Our next meeting will be on Tuesday 23^rd February, at the Horse and Jockey pub in Stanford-in-the-Vale.  As usual, we will be playing shorter games from 7.30pm as people arrive, until 8pm when we will start something a little longer.

This week the “Feature Game” will be Kobayakawa, which is a Japanese micro-filler game in the mould of Love Letter.  We have chosen this game as it will leave plenty of time for something a little longer and we can choose what to play based on the people who are there.

– Image by boardGOATS

And speaking of Japan…

Recent reports indicate the Japanese banking crisis shows no signs of improving, if anything, it’s getting worse.  Following last week’s news that Origami Bank had folded, it was announced today that Sumo Bank has gone belly up, Bonsai Bank plans to cut back some of its branches and Karaoke Bank is up for sale and is going for a song. Meanwhile, shares in Kamikaze Bank have nose-dived and five hundred jobs at Karate Bank will be chopped. Analysts report that there is also something fishy going on at Sushi Bank and staff there fear they may get a raw deal…

Our next meeting will be on Tuesday 9^th February, at the Horse and Jockey pub in Stanford-in-the-Vale.  As usual, we will be playing shorter games from 7.30pm as people arrive, until 8pm when we will start something a little longer.

This week the “Feature Game” will be Ticket to Ride, which, despite being from the USA is a poster child for modern, family-friendly, Euro-style games.  The game is based on a simple set collecting mechanic which players then use to build routes across a map in order to complete tickets.  Winner of the Spiel des Jahres in 2004, there are a lot of variants and expansion maps available.  So, since it is pancake night and there are likely to be some late arrivals, we thought we would go for a game that most people know, but where people can also try something new if they want to.

– Image by boardGOATS

And speaking of trains…

Jeff was travelling by train across Europe.  In Rome, an attractive young woman joined him in his compartment, so he engaged her in conversation.  He tried all his favourite chat-up lines and after a short while, the young Italian woman offered to show Jeff her legs if he gave her a two Euros. Utterly charmed by the flirty young lady, Jeff fished in their pockets for a two Euro coin and the girl pulled up her dress a bit to show her legs.

She could almost see Jeff’s tongue hanging out, so she went on, “If you give me ten Euros, I’ll show you my thighs.”  She hadn’t finished speaking before Jeff’s hand was in his wallet fishing for a note and his eyes were popping out on stalks as the girl pulled her dress up a little further reveal her legs in full.  Conversation continued, and Jeff couldn’t believe his luck when the young woman said, “If you will give me a hundred Euros, I will show you where I was operated on for appendicitis.”

Of course, Jeff couldn’t resist and almost without thinking he handed over the money.  The girl then turned to the window and pointed outside at a building they were passing, saying, “See, there in the distance? That’s the hospital where I had it done!”

Our next meeting will be on Tuesday 26^th January, at the Horse and Jockey pub in Stanford-in-the-Vale.  As usual, we will be playing shorter games from 7.30pm as people arrive, until 8pm when we will start something a little longer.

This week the “Feature Game” will be Endeavor, which is a more complex game where each player represents a growing empire engaged in a glorious endeavor to expand their
influence and status at home and across the great oceans of the world.  Players earn glory by increasing their scores in Industry, Culture, Finance, and Politics, as well as by occupying cities, controlling connections between cities, and by holding certain Asset Cards and Building Tiles.

– Image used with permission of BGG contributor matthew.marquand

And speaking of Captain Cook…

Jeff was at chic gathering and struggling to make polite conversation.  The person he was talking to was a psychiatrist, so, after a minute or two, Jeff asked him, “Would you mind telling me, how you detect a mental deficiency in somebody who appears completely normal?”

“Nothing is easier,” the doctor replied. “I ask him a simple question, which everyone should answer with no trouble at all. If he hesitates, that tells me just what I need to know.”

“What sort of question?” Jeff asked.

“Well,” replied the psychiatrist, “I might ask him, ‘Captain Cook made three trips around the world and died during one of them. Which one?'”

Jeff paused a minute and thought for a moment before he replied, “You wouldn’t happen to have another example, would you? I must confess I don’t know much about history.”

Our next meeting will be on Tuesday 12^th January, at the Horse and Jockey pub in Stanford-in-the-Vale.  As usual, we will be playing shorter games from 7.30pm as people arrive, until 8pm when we will start something a little longer.

This week the “Feature Game” will be Las Vegas, which was once described as, “An easy, dice-rolling, fun-and-luck game with a lot of interaction and ‘schadenfreude’.”  A shiny new “Christmas game”, being short and light this seems a nice gentle way to start the year.  Or perhaps not quite so gentle…

– Image used with permission of BGG contributor jsper

And speaking of casinos…

It was his first time in Las Vegas and Jeff was doing the touristy thing visiting a casino.  He passed roulette wheels and people paying Black Jack, and at the far table a poker game was under way.  Upon taking a closer look he saw a dog sitting at the table. This peaked his curiosity and he walked closer and saw cards and chips in front of the dog.

When the next hand was dealt, cards were also dealt to the dog.  Much to Jeff’s surprise, the dog acts in turn with all the other players, calling, raising, discarding, in fact, everything the other human players were doing. Jeff was spell bound, however none of the other players seemed to pay any attention to the fact that they were playing with a dog, they just treated him like any other player.  Finally Jeff could no-longer hold his tongue so between hands he quietly said to one of the players, “I can’t believe that dog is playing poker, he must be the smartest dog in the world!”

The player smiled and replied, “He isn’t that smart, every time he gets a good hand he wags his tail.”

Following the success of last year’s New Year party, we are having another one this year be on Thursday 31^st December.  As it is New Year’s Eve we will be meeting at Barney’s Home in Stanford and starting slightly earlier at 7pm with food.  Please get in touch if you would like to come along so we know how much pizza to make.

The plan is to start off early with the “Feature Game”, which, as has become traditional, will be the gorgeous, dexterity car-racing game, PitchCar.  After that, we will be eating, playing more games and maybe set off some fireworks at midnight, depending on how cold it is!

– Image by BGG contributor visard

And talking of cars…

A policeman sees an elderly woman driving incredibly slowly on the motorway, so he pulls along side and notices her knitting in the driver’s seat.  She remains focused on the road and keeps knitting and driving.

He beeps his horn to get her attention, but she is oblivious and carries on.

Getting more frustrated, the policeman turns his siren on and, as she finally notices him, he signals for her to wind the window down.

After a time she finds the button and down goes the window.

Incensed, the cop yells, “PULL OVER!”

“Oh, no sweetie,” she replies.  “It’s a scarf, see?”