It is at times of stress that people need social contact more than ever, and board games are a great medium for that.  Despite the limitations of “remote gaming”, the overwhelming impression is that it is important to stay in touch, so we are persisting with online meetings.  Therefore, our next meeting will be on Tuesday 28^th April 2020; we will gather from around 7.30pm, and start playing at 8pm.

This week, the “Feature Game” will be Tsuro, “The Game of the Path”.  We have chosen this game because lots of people can play, and this is intended to be a social event so it is important that everyone can be involved.  The rules as written have hidden information, but we are going to make some modifications to make it work, and play it on the slightly larger, Tsuro of the Seas board.

– Image by boardGOATS

And speaking of paths…

Jeff and his housemate Joe were out for their daily exercise walking down a path near their home, when they spot a deep hole in the ground.  As they stood around the hole together looking in, Jeff asked, “How far down do you reckon that hole goes?”

Joe replied, “I don’t know, let’s chuck something in and find out.”

With that, they looked about and spotted an old radiator in the nearby bushes that someone had fly-tipped (since the Council had closed the tip as a non-essential service).  Jeff pointed to it and started to drag it towards the hole.  Joe gave him a hand and together, the pair half dragged, half carried it and dropped it into the hole.

They started to count and listen for the thud, but before they heard the radiator land, they saw a large goat charging at them from the bushes.  Terrified by it’s huge horns they started to run, but as they did so, the goat leapt into the hole.  Now some distance from the hole and shocked and confused, Jeff and Joe decided to continue their walk along the footpath.

About ten minutes later, they were confronted by an old farmer who asked, “You haven’t seen a goat lately, have you?”

Jeff answered, “We have actually – about a mile back.  It sort of ran at us and then dived into a pit at high speed.”

The farmer gave him a strange look, “But that’s impossible, he was tied to an old radiator…”

It is at times like this that we need social contact more than ever, and board games are a great medium for that.  Despite the limitations experienced last time, the overwhelming impression is that we should persist with online meetings.  So, our next meeting will be on Tuesday 14^th April 2020; we will gather from around 7.30pm, and start playing at 8pm.

This week, the “Feature Game” will be Camel Up.  We have chosen this game because lots of people can play (especially with the Supercup expansion), and this is intended to be a social event so lots of people can be involved.  The game has some hidden information, but with a couple of minor tweaks it should still work.

– Image by boardGOATS

And speaking of Camels…

Two camels, a father and son are grazing peacefully.  The younger camel looks up to his father and says, “Dad!  Why do we have these giant humps on our backs?”  The father camel looks down at his young son and says, “Why, they are so we can travel for miles in the desert without stopping for water.”  The young camel looks astonished and says “Wow, I didn’t know that!”

A minute or so later, the younger camel pipes up again, “Dad! Why do we have really thick eyelashes?”  His father, slightly irritated at being disturbed from his grazing by his son’s curiosity, answers quickly, “So that our eyes are not scratched by sand storms.”

“Wow!” the young camel replies and then a moment later, daddy camel hears his son again, “Dad!”

“What now!” his father asks clearly biting his tongue. His son asks, “Why do we have such huge feet, Dad?”

“Well son,” his father said in strained patience, “We need to tread through the sand and our feet are big so we can travel more easily.”

This time a few minutes pass before the father hears his son again.  Daddy camel, clearly agitated snaps, “What!?!?”

“Dad… What are we doing in a zoo then?”

It is at times like this that we need social contact more than ever, and board games are a great medium for that.  As everyone is now confined to barracks and working from home, tonight’s meeting will be online, starting at 8pm.  There are several online gaming alternatives, but they all either cost or are horribly slow thanks to the fact that everyone else is trying to do the same… For this reason, we are going to try a real game using webcams.

So, this week, the “Feature Game” will be Las Vegas.  We have chosen this game because everyone knows it, so we can get started with minimal explanation; lots of people can play (eight) so as this is intended to be a social thing lots of people can be involved; it has no hidden information, so it should “work”.

– Image by boardGOATS

And speaking of working from home…

It was a freezing cold morning in late March, and Jeff was up early as he had been having difficulties sleeping.   First thing he did after getting out of the shower was send a text to his girlfriend saying, “Windows frozen, won’t open.”

Jeff’s long-suffering girlfriend, Julie, responded, “Carefully pour lukewarm water over it and gently tap edges with hammer.”

Five minutes later, Jeff replied , “Computer really messed up now.”

The situation regarding Covid-19 is now developing very rapidly and as of yesterday Government advice was “Avoid pubs … and other such social venues”.  With this in mind, it would irresponsible to continue formal advertised GOATS meetings.  That said, if the Horse and Jockey remains open, people are of course free to turn up at the usual time for food and games.

– Image from imperial.ac.uk

Our next meeting will be on Tuesday 4^th February, at the Horse and Jockey pub in Stanford-in-the-Vale. As usual, we will be playing shorter games from 7.30pm as people arrive, until 8pm when we will start something a little longer.

This week, the “Feature Game” will be Fast Sloths, a race game where players are sloths. The game is a pick-up-and-deliver type of game, but unusually the sloths are the cargo being delivered.

– Image used with permission of boardgamephotos

And speaking of Sloths…

A sloth named Jeff was walking through the forest one day when a gang of snails approached him and beat him up. Jeff was left at the bottom of a tree with many cuts and bruises and was feeling very sorry for himself. Several hours later he gathered up enough strength to go to the local police station. It was immediately obvious to the desk-officer that the sloth was in some distress, so the officer invited him into a quiet room straight away.

“What happened to you?” the officer asked.

“A gang of snails beat me up,” Jeff replied.

The officer took out his notebook and pencil, “Can you describe what they looked like please?”

“I don’t know,” the sloth said, “It all happened so fast…”

Our next meeting will be on Tuesday 21^st January, at the Horse and Jockey pub in Stanford-in-the-Vale.  As usual, we will be playing shorter games from 7.30pm as people arrive, until 8pm when we will start something a little longer.

This week, the “Feature Game” will be Ticket to Ride, specifically, the European editions.  Over the last year, on games night we’ve spent a lot of time discussing Brexit and following the seemingly endless series of votes in the House of Commons.  As a strongly pro-Europe group, we felt we had to mark the last meeting while we were still part of the EU, and we’ll do it in the only way we know: by playing some of the European versions of Ticket to Ride:  Italy, France, Germany, Poland, Netherlands and of course, Europe.

– Image by boardGOATS

And speaking of Brexit…

Jeff was working in his local pub, when Nigel Farage walked in and asked for a pint.  Jeff went to the pump and drew a pint of Jockey and then threw it into Nigel’s face.

“Why on earth  did you do that?” asked Nigel, wiping beer out of his eyes.

“You asked for a pint, but you didn’t say how you wanted it delivered,” replied Jeff.

Nigel was in a good mood as Brexit day was approaching fast, so he put his large spotted hanky back into his pocket saying, “OK, I get, you’re a Remoaner, I won’t make a fuss, I’ll just have a pint in a pint glass.”

Jeff gave him a firm stare. “No, you can’t ask again,” he said.

“Why not?” Nigel asked.

“Democracy,” Jeff replied.

Our next meeting will be on Tuesday 7^th January, at the Horse and Jockey pub in Stanford-in-the-Vale.  As usual, we will be playing shorter games from 7.30pm as people arrive, until 8pm when we will start something a little longer.

This week, the “Feature Game” will be Suburbia which is a slightly older game that has recently been re-released in a fancy new “Collector’s Edition”.  In this game, players are developing their own cities trying to make them as prosperous as they can.

– Image used with permission of BGG contributor rmarkworth

And speaking of developing cities…

Jeff and Joe were working for the city council in the park.  Joe was furiously digging holes, while  Jeff was quickly filling them in.

A confused dog-walker asked, “Why do you keep digging holes and then filling them in again?”

Jeff, lent on his shovel and replied, “The lazy sod who plants the trees is off sick again today.”

Following the success of all the previous New Year parties, we are having another one this year on Tuesday 31^st December.  As it is New Year’s Eve we will be meeting at a private house in Stanford and starting at 7pm with food later.

The plan is to start off early with the “Feature Game”, which, as has become traditional, will be the gorgeous, dexterity car-racing game, PitchCar.  After that, we will be eating, playing more games and watching the village fireworks at midnight as we can’t be bothered to set off our own!

– Image by boardGOATS

And talking of cars…

It was a Sunday afternoon, and like many fathers before him, Jeff was washing the car with his son.  After a moment, his son asked, “Do you think we could use a sponge instead?”